Sparkster.net

You know you have played too much GTA when…

2008-05-06T11:46:00.000+01:00

You find yourself walking to work, realise you're running late, and contemplate nicking a car to get there faster.

All gamed out

2008-05-05T20:19:00.003+01:00

I have spent most of my Bank Holiday Monday playing GTA4, and managed to get another 15% done.

Missions today included

Working for a corrupt police officer
Annoying some cocaine dealers
Dating a homosexual
Having a job interview and shooting the interviewer (needless to say, I didn’t get the job)
Rescuing Niko’s cousin, Roman, from a madman
Moving into a brand new safe house
and finding out Michelle isn’t who she says she is...

Where's my pub gone?

2008-05-04T22:42:00.003+01:00

This evening I paid a visit to the newly refurbished pub, The Weston. I have fond memories of this pub – playing pool, watching football on the dodgy projector, staying behind after closing time and drinking endless pints of Stella (something I now regret!)

After visiting this evening, I am bitterly disappointed in the pubs new look. Gone is the friendly resident pet dog, the pool tables are no more, and the screens and televisions have been torn from the wall. The pub lacks any spirit or local feel. Without wanting to sound like a TV advert for a high street bank, my pub is now “a trendy wine bar!”

The only good thing about the place is that they sell Weston’s cider – one of the best West Country ciders you can buy, and a rarity in pubs. Other than that, I have nothing positive to report. It is overpriced, overdressed, far too posh, and lacks any charm.

If I was the bar manager, I would worry. Tonight is the night before Bank Holiday Monday. The place was virtually deserted. If customers cannot be attracted on a night like this, they will never come. The Weston is not a pub, it is a wine bar, and is not suitable for it’s out of town location.

Bring back the traditional pub!

Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio

2008-05-03T23:45:00.002+01:00

A wise man once said “Keep your nose out of another man’s business”. Obviously Gillingham FC’s chairman, Paul Scally, never met this wise man, and sadly for him never learnt that lesson. In the summer, he made an outlandish attack on Leeds United and owner, Ken Bates.

How fitting it was today then, that on the final day of the League One season, Scally’s Gillingham paid a visit to Elland Road, requiring a win to avoid relegation.

Scally was owed a relegation. A relegation he was given. Enjoy League Two - tosser.

Oh crapsticks

2008-05-03T22:46:00.004+01:00

The PS3, or rather GTA4, has decided to stop working. Having copied my save files to a memory stick, I am now in the process of re-installing the whole game. I pray to God this fixes it. If not, I’ll be on the phone to Sony in the morning...

UPDATE: It sounds like a lot of people are suffering from the same problem, in that the game fails to load. The game manufacturers, Rockstar, know about this and are looking into a fix. *sigh*

UPDATE #2: Fixed it. Well kind of. The freezing at startup is a known issue. The solution - sign out of PSN... Get this bug sorted, Rockstar! :o(

No more football

2008-05-03T20:25:00.004+01:00

The football season is over :o(

My final game of the season saw Team Bath beat Halesowen Town 2-1 in the Southern Premier Division Play Off Final.

Since the start of the season, I have...

Been to 72 games
62 for Bath City
3 for Leeds United
1 for England
6 for other teams

Travelled over 6,700 miles (round trips) - about the same distance as from London to New York and back.

Seen 187 goals

and visited 32 different grounds.

Still playing

2008-05-03T20:03:00.002+01:00

I haven’t blogged about Grand Theft Auto since buying it last Monday. This isn’t from lack of playing - far from it. Apart from working, football and seeing my girlfriend, I’ve been playing virtually non-stop. For the purpose of staying alive, I have required toilet, food and sleep breaks; but these have been kept to a minimum.

Is it as good as I expected? Absolutely. The game is huge. The visuals – amazing. The gameplay – outstanding. It is everything I could have hoped for. I am about 20% of the way through the game, having completed almost 30 missions, and already the storyline has moved on so much from the start of play.

I have met new allies and killed old ones who turn out to be enemies. I have stolen more vehicles than you would find at CarCraft, and committed more murders than Fred West and his mad wife.

I haven’t even tried to play online yet; but as I work my way through the missions, I know at the back of my mind that when I finally do achieve 100%, I will have great fun playing other gamers from all over the world.

Believe the hype. GTA4 is truly amazing.

Peep Show

2008-05-03T14:19:00.004+01:00

It was great to see Peep Show back on TV last night!

I loved the scene when Mark finds out he has been burgled, and despite losing all his possessions, is more concerned about the stolen memory card containing a Medal of Honour save game. The whole farce when he finally catches the burglar is simply cringe worthy, and Peep Show at its best.

Jeremy is back on form. His whole negative attitude towards sitting through a boring play at the theatre, and wishing he was at home watching Heat on DVD (which would have been considerably cheaper) was hilarious.

Was great to see Big Suze back too; although her idea of burning their imprisoned burglar with cigarettes was a little freaky... freaky in a funny kind of way!

Judging books by their cover

2008-04-29T16:11:00.003+01:00

Why do murderers, sick perverts and rapists always look dodgy? Anyone strange looking should be locked up before they can commit crimes - I suppose Chelsea would have to find a new manager if that happened. *

* for legal reasons, I must say that Avram Grant is neither a murderer, pervert or rapist. Hopefully he will be a league champion in a few weeks time (at the expense of Man Utd)

Grand Theft Auto 4

2008-04-29T00:45:00.002+01:00

I have it! After waiting in a MASSIVE queue, I finally have it. As I blog, the game is installing and the milk for the cocoa is being heated in the microwave... I am going to have some fun!

5 hours to go

2008-04-28T19:03:00.003+01:00

Tonight’s the night. In little over 5 hour’s time, I will (hopefully) have my grubby little mits on a copy of Grand Theft Auto 4. I’m off to Asda at 11pm, hoping to buy the game at 00:01.

Ever since I got home from work, I have had the soundtrack for the original GTA game playing on loop – “Take it to the edge, there`s nowhere to hide, and call up the boy; let`s go for a joyride...”

You know that feeling you got as a kid the night before Christmas? I’ve had that all day, and I am so tense with excitement right now. To calm my nerves, I am meeting work colleagues in town for a few pints, before driving to Asda *.

* don’t worry. Even though it would be rather fitting for GTA, the driver will not be drinking.
If, however, we are not able to get a copy tonight, there will be a car chase after the person who buys the last copy.

Undercover agent

2008-04-26T00:45:00.002+01:00

This evening I dared to enter the caldron of football that is The Carlsberg Stand at Yeovil Town’s Huish Park. I posed as a Yeovil fan in order to watch my real club, Leeds United, play.

While I was discreet in my support, some other Leeds fans pretending to be ‘Yeocals’ were not. Firstly the broad Yorkshire accent gave it away (something that I didn’t have to worry about); but the thing that really revealed their identity was that when Leeds scored, chants of “WE ALL LOVE LEEDS” broke out. Cue an army of police and a departure of joyous Leeds fans.

Luckily I wasn’t found out. Luckily Yeovil didn’t score. Luckily Leeds won. Luckily I got home in one piece (even though it did take 45 minutes to get out the car park)!

Despite not being a Yeovil fan, I was amused by some of their chants...

HAVE YOU EVER WON THE CONFERENCE, HAVE YOU F**K
– As if Leeds United care about non-league competitions

I’D RATHER BE A FARMER THAN A CHAV

And when the “record” crowd for Yeovil was announced...
- YOU ONLY CAME TO WATCH YEOVIL...

The darkness

2008-04-23T22:32:00.002+01:00

After last night’s fiasco with the floodlight failure in the highly prestige Somerset Cup Final, I e-mailed the Somerset FA to complain...

In the politest possible way, I called them all useless tossers, asked for a refund on tickets & travel and, in true Dr. Evil style, demanded one hundred BILLION dollars *

Let’s see if they reply...

* OK, that last bit was a lie

No surprises in Devizes

2008-04-23T22:05:00.006+01:00

This morning I had to go to Devizes on a top secret work related mission. Ahead of my trip into Wiltshire, I was warned about locals with webbed feet and six fingers. Having spent an hour in the town centre, I can confirm that it is indeed Webbedville.

After missing the 12 O’clock bus back to Bath, I had an hour to kill while waiting for another. Once I had visited Marks & Spencer’s and Greggs for lunch, I took a few random photos. Sorry – no pics of the locals; they’re too frightening – even for the internet!

The centre of local activity

Amazingly, Devizes has it's very own Clinton Cards and Phones 4u

I actually forgot it was St. George's day today... should have been a Bank Holiday

Feed me money... Boom! Boom!

What a farce

2008-04-22T23:55:00.001+01:00

I’ve just got back from Weston Super Mare, having watched Bath City play Paulton Rovers in the Somerset Cup Final.

After 90 minutes it was 1-1.
5 minutes into extra time, the flood lights failed.
4 minutes into the darkness, we hear the game has been abandoned and will be replayed in the summer.
2 minutes later, the floodlights come back on. Can we carry on playing? Can we f##k!

That trip cost me £30!
I do hear that the Somerset FA are planning on compensating fans by letting them have a piss up in the Bath Ales brewery; however, they are yet to find anyone capable of organising it.

Pants on fire

2008-04-20T17:39:00.001+01:00

[ Prescott tells of bulimia battle ]
What a bizarre story. I can see John Prescott doing the binge eating part. Think he has forgotten the bit where you stick your fingers down your throat.

How the hell did this happen?

2008-04-20T09:50:00.001+01:00

Obviously Sutton didn’t read the script. The rock-bottom team were supposed to roll over and die, allowing Bath City to get into the play offs. Grrr...

Phono cables in the bin

2008-04-18T19:37:00.002+01:00

Just connected the optical cable to the PS3. Gran Turismo Prologue sounds so much better in surround. This is seriously wetting my appetite for GTA4 - I want to mow down pedestrians and shoot policemen in high def!

What did I do wrong?

2008-04-18T18:58:00.002+01:00

While showing a colleague something on my blog at work today, I was surprised to find out that the July 2007 page had been blocked by the net policing system – normally in place for blocking porn, gambling and terrorism websites. Apart from my war on terror against the spiders, I don’t think Sparkster.net falls into any of these categories.

Looking through the page, I wonder what has caused it to get blacklisted? There are a few words and phrases of minor controversy, but nothing major. I won’t post them here, as the main page will get blocked!

The DVD is dead

2008-04-17T23:03:00.001+01:00

Cue a massive Homer Simpson style “Mmmmmm”

My HDMI cable arrived today. Hooked it up to the PS3 and gave Gran Turismo a spin - it looks absolutely lush! I can’t wait to watch a Blu Ray disc on it. I don’t think I’ll be buying any more DVDs now!

Meddling kids

2008-04-14T22:56:00.002+01:00

Now, I’m used to taking the odd but of stick; especially at work, but an incident that happened today really took the biscuit! I was walking home, when a couple of kids, who can’t have been anymore than five years old, started on me! As I passed, they asked “Are you small?” Looking down at them, I replied “Not compared to you” Grinning, they said back “Well, we think you’re small!”

I might not be of Peter Crouch height, but I’m not a member of the Pygmy tribe, either.

I wasn’t offended by their comments, and to be honest, I thought their cheeky attitude was quite funny. That said, I’ll be taking the long route home tomorrow – I’m a bit scared they’ll try and mug me for my wallet. Five year olds can be dangerous.

I predict a riot

2008-04-13T23:18:00.001+01:00

I had a lucky escape on my trip to Eastbourne yesterday. The Bath City coach was driving along the M4 when it passed a Southampton fan bus. I gave their fans a grin and a wave, before giving them a ‘going down’ gesture. Their fans replied with a much more offensive fingered salute. Luckily I was on the safety of the coach and there was no way the rabid supporters could get to me. I got rather frightened when we pulled into a motorway service station 5 minutes later – I was expecting a mob of angry Southampton fans waiting for me with baseball bats and sticks. Luckily they weren’t there.

On the way home I met a group of Swansea supporters. They were celebrating their win and promotion to the Championship. I dampened their celebrations a little by pointing out that they were not officially promoted, and that if Leeds got their stolen 15 points back next week, Swansea may have to make do with the play offs. Luckily those sets of supporters took it with the friendly banter it was intended and there was no need to start a fight in the car park.

Going for a curry

2008-04-11T23:40:00.002+01:00

After traipsing around the west side of Bath, I finally found a retailer that can reserve GTA4 for me and guarantee it’s availability on the release date. Everywhere else is sold out, but apparently not many people thought about checking out the Twerton branch of Currys – luckily I did.

Before going to Currys, I tried Blockbusters – I got nowhere; and I just seemed confused the PC World “Techguys”.

Me: “Is it possible if I reserve a copy of Grand Theft Auto 4?”
Tech Guy #1: “I don’t know what that is. I’ll go and find out”
Tech Guy #1: (to Tech Guy #2) “What is a Grand Theft Auto?”
Tech Guy #2: “Hmmm... I think it’s a racing game”

Yes, the “Auto” part of the title would allow anyone who is an expert in stating the bleeding obvious to figure that out. Unfortunately for this Techguy, GTA4 isn’t your typical racer. If it was, Formula 1 would be a lot more interesting!

This whole mission may well turn out to be pointless anyway. I am accompanying Adam and Sam from work, in a trip to Bristol on the midnight of GTA4’s release. We’re hoping to find an all-night Asda stocking the game, enabling us to be one of the first people in the world to own the title. My Currys reservation is simply if Asda don’t stock the game.

I MUST own Grand Theft Auto 4 on it's release date.

Aaaarrrrggggh!

2008-04-11T11:46:00.001+01:00

Aaaarrrrggggh! Terrible news! NOWHERE appears to be taking pre-orders for Grand Theft Auto 4. The game of the century, set for release on 29th April, has received so many reservations that no shops are guaranteeing to have it on the day.

I've been frantically calling around shops, trying to get myself a copy.

GAME – Say I have absolutely no chance and won't take my reservation.
GAMESTATION – Think I will be lucky to get a copy, but suggested I come into town and try.
CURRYS – Won't even put me through to my local store. I got nowhere.
AMAZON – Sold out for 29th April.
ASDA – Not taking pre-orders, although we may come down at midnight and look.

If anyone knows of anywhere in Bath where I can get a copy on the 29th April, PLEASE let me know. Ideally on PlayStation 3, but I would settle for Xbox 360.

In case you were wondering; yes I am at work today, and yes I have been very busy.

There’s something wrong here

2008-04-09T18:46:00.002+01:00

I see that Comedy Central have demanded YouTube remove the South Park clip I blogged about the other day. Seeing as it was a clip parodying videos from the YouTube website, I find it a tad ironic that C.C. feel the need to demand Y.T. remove it under copyright issues.