29th October 2006 - 23:34 GMT
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It’s been an action packed weekend and I haven’t blogged since Wednesday so I have a lot to cover. Before you ready any further, I would suggest putting on a pot of coffee and finding a comfortable chair. This is going to be a long one…
Friday
After work I walked into town for an evening out with work colleagues. Socialising with co-workers is not a regular occurrence of mine, but this was one event that would have been rather difficult to avoid.
We went to a Chinese restaurant with an “all you can eat” buffet. I don’t normally enjoy Chinese food, I prefer Indian or Italian, but this place was surprisingly good. The only problem I did experience was that so many dishes contained fish. I hate fish. I had to be very careful when selecting the food and twice had to leave plates full of fishy rice and noodles on vacant tables.
After eating all that was humanly possible within a two hour period, we went to a pub for a few drinks. Again, not what I expected. I imagined that everybody around me would be drinking themselves into a deeply pissed state and forcing me to stoop to their level by offering endless rounds of alcohol. Luckily this was not the case and we all enjoyed a few relaxed pints before going home.
Saturday
Curry. Beer. GoldenEye. Oh and just a little matter of a Leeds United win. An excellent day.
The new Leeds manager, Dennis Wise has received the official “Sparkster Thumbs Up” for beating Southend 2-0. I was beginning to forget what it was like to actually win a game! I made a mix for the game here, my first of the season.
Mr. Watkins and I then went into Bath for dinner. My regular eatery, Garfunkles was annoyingly full so we had the difficult task of deciding where to go instead. Mr. Watkins was insistent we go to Nandos, mainly because he likes playing matchmaker between me and a particular waitress (who probably doesn’t work Saturday’s anyway). This time my stubbornness prevailed and we went to my choice of restaurant, Eastern Eye.
Not since Mr. White’s birthday, when there was so much embarrassment from a group of lager louts had I been to Eastern Eye, the best Indian restaurant in Bath. Last nights visit reminded me of what a good curry actually tasted like.
After we had eaten we went back to mine (via Sainsbury’s to collect Simon) for our weekly GoldenEye session. After GoldenEye the debate of “What’s better, Fifa or Pro Evo?” came back. Simon and I decided to play both games. One match on each. I was Barcelona while Simon chose Arsenal. We started with Pro Evo. I lost 5-0. On Fifa I won 8-0. Therefore it was concluded that Fifa is the best football game of all time and I am the champion.
Sunday
Nothing much happened today.
That is all. Goodnight.
25th October 2006 - 23:31 BST
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I went to Bristol this evening to watch the Borat movie. I was able to get hold of a pair of free tickets last week, so though I would check it out.
I have always been a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen’s character and I wasn’t disappointed by the film. The plot is very loose and follows Borat as he travels across America, making a film for his homeland Kazakhstan as well as perusing his new found love, Pamela Anderson.
The film is full of laughs from start to finish and mainly consists of interviews where Borat fools gullible Americans. These sketches are stuck together using scripted material featuring Cohen, his co-star Ken Davitian and a live bear.
There are many moments which are just so cringe worthy. Defecating into a plastic bag at a dinner party, singing the Kazakhstan national anthem (to the tune of the American anthem) at a rodeo and destroying the contents of an antiques shop will leave you either laughing or with your head in your hands in shock.
Overall, one of the funniest films I have seen this year and one I highly recommend, even if you have to pay for it.
Before the cinema, my friend Watkins and I went to McDonalds for a bite to eat. I hadn’t been to such a restaurant in almost two years and now I remember why. As we entered the building, I realised what my idea of hell actually was. It was a McDonald’s restaurant in Bristol.
We had to join a massive queue full of teenage chavs. They were all poorly dressed and had food and mud stains covering their tatty clothes. Some appeared to be with parents, but the mothers looked to be teenagers themselves, so it was hard to tell. They were all either extremely thin or massively obese and the use of the English language was simply foul – “yeah, but no but…” Give me Bath chavs over Bristol any day, at least they can dress themselves and manage to string a sentence together.
After the cinema, we went to The Wishing Well at Longwell Green for our proper meal. Having already eaten I wasn’t that hungry, but ordered a curry. It wasn’t the best I had ever eaten and I left most of it. Watkins frowned upon my efforts to finish the meal, but I think he should be grateful. The last curry I had which I didn’t like the look of, ended up on the floor.
22nd October 2006 - 22:34 BST
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Simon and I had a nice Sunday afternoon planned. At midday we would take a leisurely stroll into town, where we would go to the Slug and Lettuce wine bar, enjoy a light lunch and drink while watching the Man Utd/Liverpool match followed by the Reading/Arsenal game. Things didn’t go exactly to plan…
The weather was shit, the typical English type. Lots of fine rain, the type that soaks you through.
Crap weather
Upon arrival at The Slug and Lettuce, we discovered, to our annoyance that they did not have Sky Sports. The wall mounted plasma screens were just showing BBC News 24. We left and headed into the pouring rain, walking down Bath high street, passing recently erected Christmas decorations – it’s only fucking October!
Christmas! Bah humbug!
We went in and out of various food serving pubs, all of which were either packed full of Manchester United fans or old people and therefore not showing football. We even tried TGI Fridays, but ran off when the French waiter wasn’t looking as the menu was less than impressive (don’t worry, we hadn’t ordered anything).
In the end we ate at Garfunkles (just for a change). It was lunchtime and I only fancied a light meal. I ordered a club sandwich. The waitress brought out a massive platter filled with great slabs of bread, mountains of chips, all on a bed of salad, very nice, but a little more than I wanted.
Once our hunger had been addressed, we went back to one of the previous pubs. We had missed the ManU game, but were hopeful of finding somewhere to sit and watch Arsenal. St. Christopher’s Inn was able to suffice and we parked our wet selves on the sofas.
It was a nice pub and not packed with lager filled football hooligans cheering every time Arsenal won a corner. I always like to join in with chants and singing when it’s a Leeds match, but anyone else, I become rather perturbed. All in all, a very civilised place to go, although I did receive a rather puzzled look from a barman when ordering a coffee. Is it really a crime to have a hot drink (while cold and wet) in between pints? Apparently yes.
21st October 2006 - 22:20 BST
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Tonight is the lowest moment in my time as a Leeds supporter. In 2004, I watched my beloved club relegated at the hands of Bolton Wanderers. In May, I travelled to The Millennium Stadium to watch Leeds get thrashed 3-0 by Watford. Today is a new low. Leeds lost 5-1 to Luton Town and sit deep within the Championship relegation zone.
After the game, the manager, who isn’t really a manager, just a caretaker, refused to do a press interview. Cunt.
The players are a shambles. They don’t give a shit. As long as they receive their excessive wages in their bank each week, they’re happy. Fuck the fans, fuck the club. Useless cunts.
The chairman, Ken Bates. What a cunt. He may have saved the club from liquidation back in 2005, but looking at the state of affairs this season, I would have taken my chances with the administrators. It now costs over 50% to watch us lose 4-0 to Stoke City than it cost to watch us beat Chelsea 2-0 a few years ago.
The ex-manager, Kevin Blackwell. The self-proclaimed God who should be walking on water. He should be drowned. He supposedly built a team from nothing. He’s left Leeds with a bunch of donkeys not fit for the knackers yard.
I’m not even going to start on the ex-Leeds United board which includes the infamous Peter Ridsdale. All I’ll say is that if karma exists, he’ll choke to death on one of his many pies he feeds into his heavily bloated body and go straight to hell.
If Leeds do not sort this mess out they will be down. Relegated to Coca Cola League One where they will play the likes of Brentford, Carlise, Cheltenham, Leyton Orient, Port Vale and Yeovil fuckin’ Town. If this happens I may kill myself. I am already considering how.
Fuck you Leeds players
Fuck you Ken Bates
Fuck you John Carver
Fuck you Kevin Blackwell
Fuck you Peter Ridsdale
You’re all cunts
... here we come
21st October 2006 - 00:56 BST
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While browsing my computer’s hard drive on a lazy Friday afternoon at work, I found an application containing audio of a bumble bee (a bit like this one ).
I had great fun randomly playing it whenever anybody would walk into the office, causing them to look into the air for flying insects.
To add extra realism, I got a colleague involved and we played the buzzing sound on multiple workstations, making the whole room sound like a live beehive.
Once that particular novelty had worn off, the joke of “There’s a bug inside my computer” cause even further amusement.
As you can probably tell, work wise, my Friday afternoon wasn’t that busy. Or should that be buzzy? I’ll get my coat.
19th October 2006 - 23:21 BST
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Many celebrities have strange fashion accessories. Paris Hilton has a miniature dog in her handbag. Elton John has David Furnish in his bedroom and now it seems that Madonna has a child.
I’ve heard all these stories lately of how Madge flew into a poor Malawian village in her private jet and ordered all the local children to congregate in one place so she could take one home with her. This all seems a little strange to me. The last time a young black boy was purchased this way was during the slave trade hundreds of years ago and more recently when Theo Walcott left Southampton for Arsenal.
Madonna has promised the new child a fantastic lifestyle. That I am not disputing, I am sure that with her wealth she will be able to offer the child so much more than it would receive in the orphanage.
The thing I have a problem with, is what about all the orphans she didn’t pick? Is it simply a case of “Fuck them, I’ve got my baby” Throughout it’s childhood, the baby will no doubt cost Madonna millions of pounds on toys, clothes, lavish birthday parties, bodyguards and nannies. Surely this money could be put to better use funding a larger orphanage and improved care for all the disadvantaged children in Malawian and not just the one lucky enough to catch Madonna’s eye? The whole thing stinks of a publicity stunt and a selfish good deed.
17th October 2006 - 23:03 BST
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Contrary to various reports in the media, I can confirm that Leeds United did not play a game this evening. Any news stories you may read, like this one, are all lies.
My friend Simon informs me that Arsenal did not play either, despite this article appearing on the BBC website.
Vicious rumour starting journalists…
15th October 2006 - 22:07 BST
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This afternoon Simon insisted that I join him and his allies from last night for a game of football in Victoria Park. Having not played in a while and feeling rather tired, I wasn’t overly keen, yet didn’t dare disobey Simon’s orders and face his wrath.
The game of football was originally arranged at the party where a group of other “sportsmen” gave Simon the impression of being extremely enthusiastic about a kick around this afternoon. This enthusiasm was no doubt brought on by excess alcohol, something that leads to a hangover the following morning. Therefore, unsurprisingly, the previously “wannabe Ronaldinho’s” didn’t “wanna come-out-io”.
Most of the kick around was a rather mediocre affair. Lack of players and lack of passion from those who did manage to drag themselves to the park was about the gist of things. *
The football got better later on when Simon used his magical powers of persuasion (or mental intimidation) to lure two unsuspecting foreign lads and a father and son to join in. I played my David Healy role - wander around the goal and wings, waiting for a good delivery. This did provide a few goals, one of which impressed Simon greatly.
I can’t have been that good however, as I was soon relegated to goalie. I did manage to pull off some saves but also let in a fair few. Still, one thing I can say about my game, I may have been bad, but I wasn’t as shit as the Leeds players yesterday in their 4-0 raping at the hands of Stoke City.
After football we all left exhausted and drove to Garfunkles where we ate like kings. Chocolate milkshake and BBQ Chicken were among my orders and very nice they were too, especially as I was starving from being made to work like a dog all afternoon.
Now Mr. Goater (coach), where’s my £50,000 weekly pay cheque?
* Maybe a tad unfair on my team mates. Lack of passion from myself, yes, but I didn’t originally want to go, so I am excused.
15th October 2006 - 13:26 BST
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Yesterday evening was spent at Mr. White’s house. His parents have gone on holiday and left their treasured family home in his safe and capable hands. Bad idea.
I have mentioned numerous times in the past what happens when White is left in charge of his house. Parties are organised, hundreds of pissheads from Bath and the surrounding areas come round and all police annual leave is cancelled.
In the few hours I spent at the party, I had to defend myself from a drunk who wanted to steal my debit card in order to register for a hardcore pornography website and avoid having a bicycle lock secured to my neck.
Thankfully, my level headed friend Simon turned up, bringing along some of his most trusted and sensible allies to defend me. We then played some intensive rounds of GoldenEye and attempted to watch Match of the Day. I say attempted. It’s a little difficult to concentrate when all you can hear in the background is some awful punk rock ballad played repetitively on a nearby HiFi and the sounds of hardcore porn from upstairs.
Other distractions included a Hungarian girl using the word “cunt” in every sentence, something that was rather bizarre and slightly shocking, especially with the foreign accent.
You must be wondering how I survived the evening. Well, I don’t just watch Peep Show for entertainment, it’s an education. If Mark Corrigan has taught me nothing else, it’s that when you’re in a strange, disturbing place, you have to close your eyes and say to yourself “I’m Louis Theroux, I’m Louis Theroux”. Either that or line up a load of unopened beer cans and drink yourself to death.
13th October 2006 - 23:38 BST
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Tonight I am very, very tired. The last two weeks at work have been especially busy, this coupled with the fact Dan came to stay last week, disturbing my sleep patterns even further, I have been left exhausted. After writing this blog and watching another episode of My Name is Earl on DVD, I will be going to sleep and do not know when I will wake up. Maybe Sunday.
After work this afternoon I went into town as I wanted to buy a new throw for the sofa. The existing rag I have at the moment is very dirty. It has a brownish-grey tint about it. I cannot remember its original colour, part of it looks like it could be yellow, although that may be further stains from Lucozade/lager/urine.
Since visiting town, I would like to echo Dan’s sentiments about slow old people. On the bus, walking the streets, visiting Marks & Spencer’s and BHS I got stuck behind various groups of elderly citizens.
Now, some people may stick up for these folk and say they are slow and losing their marbles a little. Bollocks. These people know exactly what they are doing. They purposely wander in my way and plod along at the most painful speed.
To make matters worse, the escalators in Marks and Spencer’s were broken and I was stuck behind an elderly couple attempting to abseil down the static metal stairs. In this situation, overtaking really is impossible.
I only went into M&S to take a piss, needless to say, their reason for visiting was probably for the same, but their bladders didn’t allow them the time to make it to the 3rd floor. Next time I think I will use the public toilets by Iceland which are normally littered with HIV laced needles and piles of human excrement. The only beings blocking my way there are crack whores and nobody cares if you push them to the ground.
12th October 2006 - 21:59 BST
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Not much to blog about this week, but thought I would write something before the weekend.
Firstly, any fan of video games from the 1990’s should check out OCR Remix. This website features an extensive collection of video game soundtrack remixes, composed by some very clever, gaming obsessed musicians. The Kong in Concert (taken from Donkey Kong Country) and Hedgehog Heaven (featuring music from Sonic 2) are especially impressive.
Secondly, after much persuasion demands from Daninthemix and I, my good friend Mr. White has finally set up a blog. His is somewhat different from mine and Dan's. The title of his site ‘Bolloxed In Bath’, along with his reputation for liking the odd tipple should give you some indication as to what most of the blogs are all about.
And finally, with apologies to those who have already seen this, here is a link to last weeks South Park episode ‘Make Love not Warcraft’. Over the last 8 years, I have seen every episode of South Park and have to say this is quite possible the best one of the lot. You could even say it is the best piece of television ever put together in the world… of Warcraft.
8th October 2006 - 21:42 BST
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After recovering from anger brought upon us both by Donkey Kong Country, Dan and I headed into town for breakfast.
On the way into Bath, we visited the new Argos store as Dan was in desperate need of a new rucksack. His existing one had completely fallen to pieces and the contents of his life were spilling out all over the street. Dan had already chosen which bag he wanted by looking at the website before we left. Things did not go to plan though. When attempting to purchase the said rucksack, Dan learnt, much to his anger that they were sold out. The look of rage on Dan’s face, last seen when playing Donkey Kong returned.
And that's when Dan went mad
Rucksackless we both continued into town and moved immediately towards a café by the Bath Abbey Square. We had not eaten all day and were both very, very hungry. Considering that the café was in such a prime location and charged such high prices, the food was absolutely terrible. As Dan took a bite into his burger, a waterfall of putrid grease fell onto his plate, befouling his already unappetising chips and side salad. The look of anger returned. My bacon sandwich was not much better, but we both decided not to complain. Every member of staff working at the café looked so depressed that had we showed any form of displeasure towards their cooking, they would have probably killed themselves, us or both.
The most expensive greasy spoon in Bath
I will not be coming back here. Ever
I wonder if the vandalism was caused by non-customers or pissed off diners
We desperately required some form of refreshment to wash down our fetid food so went to meet Simon for a coffee in Starbucks. We sat on the sofas, talking about life and drinking Mocha, fruit smoothies and Earl Gray tea like young, professional yuppie types.
There was also an ulterior motive to our visit. Dan had to dispose of his old, decrepit rucksack. The original plan was to throw it into the River Avon. It was also suggested we leave it on the platform at Bath Spa Station, but thought that was a very bad idea and would end up causing total chaos, a bomb disposal unit and station evacuation.
In the end Dan decided it would be best to leave the bag under a chair in Starbucks. If by a major coincidence a Starbucks employee is reading this blog and has found a rucksack under one of the seats, you do not need to keep it in lost property. Please dispose of it with your weekly rubbish.
Dan! You left your bag!
It was then time for Dan to go back home to London. We made our way to the station, stopping for a brief Slush Puppie, before waving Dan off as his train sped away towards the capital.
The rest of my afternoon was spent with Simon, browsing various clothes shops for a new bag of my own. When I finally found one I liked, we finished the day with a relaxing coffee and juice in a wine bar which used to be R.S.V.P.
A large crowd turned up to wish Dan goodbye.
Note the worried bald man and crying child. We were all very upset to see Dan leave.
As the train sped Dan out of our lives, everything became blurry
8th October 2006 - 12:21 BST
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Since blogging earlier this morning, Hobart and I have been playing Donkey Kong Country on the SNES emulator. It’s a lot harder than I remembered it to be. When I was 13, I used to be able to run through all the levels in minutes without dying.
We have both spent the last half hour getting increasingly frustrated in our attempt to pass the Mine Cart Madness level, a stage which in the past was just a formality.
It’s probably all down to reaction time, very worrying really. In another 11 years time when I’m 35, I will have probably lost all bowel control, have false teeth and wear knitted cardigans.
Fuckola
8th October 2006 - 10:24 BST
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I was awoken this morning by Mr. Hobart yelling at me. “Massive c**t!” and “Lazy bastard!” were two of the profanities thrown at my sleeping head along with his fist. Of course, Dan isn’t that psychotic, he was quoting Sir Ben Kingsley’s character in the film Sexy Beast.
Dan did however want me to get out of bed and make him a coffee. Fearing Dan would start boiling water himself and accidentally burn the house down, I thought it would be a wise move to do as he asked.
Yesterday was a good day, albeit nothing much was achieved. The afternoon consisted of watching Maid Marian on DVD, the new episode of Lost, eating pizza from the local takeaway (Mr. Pizzarella, you have surpassed yourself once again) and playing classic Sega Mega Drive games.
Streets of Rage 2 brought back many memories and the synthesised music and dodgy sound FX played at high volume reminded me of summer days at the Weymouth Pleasure Beach amusement arcade.
After an hour or so of intense retro gaming, Hobart and I came to the conclusion that most Super Nintendo and Sega Mega Drive games were very erratic. The flashing, high speed graphics and migraine inducing sounds are enough to make anyone schizophrenic. Not to mention the bizarre gaming scenarios – a super fast blue hedgehog, collecting gold sovereigns and jumping on trampolines conveniently located in palm tress.
After a mini epileptic fit, brought on by Lotus Turbo Challenge 2, we watched the England/Macedonia game. That’s 90 minutes of my life I will never get back. All I heard from the commentators was the name Panda, probably a Macedonian and not in fact a panda bear.
After that game (and many other performances), I really couldn’t give a shit if Fat Frank Lampard, Rooney the Chav and Stuart Downing Syndrome qualify for Euro 2008. I will shortly be buying a Northern Ireland replica kit with HEALY 9 ironed onto the back.
Upset, hurt and angry by England’s display, Dan, Mr. White and I walked into town. This is where a slight confession is revealed. Mr. White, if you are reading this prepare to get mad. As you were unlocking your bike, Dan and I decided it would be rather amusing to walk in the opposite direction, down a side street and avoid you. That is why you were unable to find us both. The joke was on us though as this detour took us an extra 15 minutes, a little pointless really.
Upon arrival in town we stood in a group outside Sainsbury’s like chavs, waiting for Simon to finish work. For somebody who is supposed to clock off at 8pm, he was annoyingly late. While waiting, the most violent battle broke out. Blood was spilt. It was like something out of West Side Story, only without all the singing.
The battle was all over where we shout eat. My personal preference (and one I knew Simon would back me on) was Nandos. White wanted a curry and Dan, not wanting to offend, sat on the fence and agreed to eat anywhere as long as we did eat (which we were not doing, hence his anger). After many nose bleeds and limb breaks, we all decided that Garfunkles would be the best choice.
Our fight outside Sainsburys bared many similarities to Streets of Rage 2
Garfunkles was excellent as always. After we had eaten and had yet another fight over the bill, we caught a taxi home and White disappeared into town to wash down his burger with a pint or six.
While back at my crib, Simon and I played a very entertaining game of Fifa 07. Well, very entertaining for me. I played as Barcelona against Simon’s Arsenal and beat him 9-2 (what the score really should have been in that Champions League final).
Simon was not happy with what he described as “shit and unrealistic game play”. Well, I like Fifa, mainly because I can score 9 goals against Arsenal. Simon is a Pro Evo man and will be bringing it round on his next visit. I have no doubts that when this happens there will be another 9-2 score line, but I will be on the losing side.
7th October 2006 - 11:06 BST
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Yesterday, just after 6pm, a deeply sodden Daniel Hobart turned up at my front door. He had made the 2 mile journey from Bath Spa train station to my flat in torrential weather conditions. Mr. White also made a rare appearance. He turned up carrying the largest pizza I have ever seen. Its size was comparable to that of a monster truck hubcap.
Later in the evening, Mr. Johnny Watkins and Simon arrived and after a break for pizza and Frazzles crisps (Dan’s choice), four player GoldenEye begun on the Nintendo 64. White had already left at this point. Apparently drinking until you vomit bile is more fun for some people than a frantic evening of classic N64 action.
Mr. Watkins and Dan fueled themselves on Sprite, a wise alternative to Coca Cola due to the absence of caffeine. GoldenEye is a game which makes even the most docile person as frantic as a rabid dog on speed, therefore adding caffeine to the mix is not a good move.
I stuck to the Carling while Simon, the wannabe Theirry Henry, drank a whole bottle of red wine. Tut tut tut Simon, red wine may be good for the heart, the liver won’t be thanking you.
The GoldenEye session was followed by a bout of Fifa 07 involving Simon and I before the evening was drawn to a close.
No paparazzi!
My name's Simon. I don't have a drink problem
I didn't have a good nights sleep. Dan was sleeping at the foot of my bead like a faithful dog, Watkins having crashed his car days earlier (for the second time in a year) was also forced to sleep on the floor next to Dan. One of the two buggers was snoring like a pig all night long. I originally suspected it was Dan and tried to record his grunts using the voice recorder on my mobile phone. When I got closer though, I found out that the noises were coming from Mr. Watkins, who quite relevantly calls himself “The Piglet”.
And that was my evening and night. Dan and I will shortly be going into town for a (late) breakfast, but not before I force him to write a blog of his own. Have a look at Daninthemix.com for his version of the events.
3rd October 2006 - 23:20 BST
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PRESS ANNOUNCEMENT:
In a slight change of events, Mr. “Dan in the Mix” Hobart will be coming to Bath this weekend.
His train is scheduled to arrive in Bath Spa Station at 1700 HRS on Friday 6th October 2006.
Anybody wishing to meet Mr. Hobart at the station should contact me for arrangements. Well-wishers are encouraged to bring flowers and chocolates for Dan on his arrival. Lynch mobs should bring the traditional flaming torch and/or pitch fork.
2nd October 2006 - 23:04 BST
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It’s about this time every year I get excited about a particular event on the video gaming calendar. Late September/Early October always signals the release of the latest addition to the Fifa series.
As an Xbox 360 owner, I was eagerly awaiting Fifa 07, all those teams and players in wonderful high definition. Last week I found out, to my anger, that the Xbox 360 version only includes 6 leagues and no Leeds. Talk about a half finished job.
I had to play as Leeds. Had to, and as Mr. Kevin Blackwell failed to drag The Whites out of the crappy Championship last season, I would not be able to play as my beloved team on the 360.
For the last week I have been pondering “shall I buy a PlayStation 2 and Fifa 07?” The PlayStation 2 version does feature Leeds. The only disadvantages are that it’ll set me back £100+, I already have a PS2 (albeit broken) and its pretty old technology, the PS3 is out in March.
Today, as I walked back from work I decided “I’m so wrapped up in the nonsense of life. If I want a PlayStation 2, why don’t I just get a PlayStation 2?” and that is what I did.
A 2nd hand PS2 with a 1 year warranty, component cable, memory card and Fifa 07 - £125. Some people may think I am mad, they would probably be right. Still, I’m happy, Fifa 07 is great. I just have to master it now. My current performances have been reminiscent of Kevin Blackwell’s Leeds United. Still in time I’ll get good, bring the PS2 into work and beat that ManU supporter 6-0.
1st October 2006 - 21:02 BST
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This afternoon I did my monthly “big shop” at Sainsbury’s and reminded myself yet again why I should take advantage of the online delivery service. The whole shop was crawling with frustrated people pushing trolleys through grid locked aisles like cars on the M42.
As I rarely cook for myself and therefore require very little food in my cupboards, my shop primarily consisted of liquid based products, including 12 bottles of Lucozade Sport and 24 cans of Coca Cola, fruit, salad and a vast quantity of Muller yoghurts. See my trolley.
Muller yoghurts, bananas, apples and 12 bottles of Lucozade Sport.. All part of a healthy diet.
While on my travels up and down the aisles, I also noticed that Sainsbury's were now stocking Christmas stock. *sigh* Too early, far too early. I won't be getting my Christmas tree out for at least another 5 weeks!
Merry Christmas everybody! Ho ho ho!
I also found out that, with the possible exception of my friend Mr. Goater, all Sainsbury’s employees don’t give a shit about customer satisfaction. I was hunting around for some new pillows for my bed as the current ones I have are as flat as a witch’s tit. I was unable to find them myself, so approached a member of staff. He must have been 7 foot tall and 9 stone – lanky streak of piss. When asked where the pillows were located I as told “Up there near aisle 9, I think”. Basically a polite way of saying “Fuck off, this is a Sunday, I’m hung over from last night and I don’t want to help twats like you”
Needless to say the pillows were not on aisle 9 and I only found them by a stroke of luck when paying for my shop. Some thoughtful sole had placed them next to the checkout. God bless that person. I am sure it was you Mr. Goater, can you now do my shopping for me?
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