31st May 2005 - 23:21 BST
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I watched the first half of the England – Columbia friendly this evening. Another disappointing game and another terrible mistake from keeper David James. I think these friendlies should prove one thing if nothing else – David James is shite and should never wear the England shirt ever again. The man is a useless liability. Tottenham’s Paul Robinson should be the England No.1 with Norwich’s Robert Green and Liverpool’s Scott Carson battling it out for the second spot.

Hopefully the last time "Calamity James" will ever play

Still on the topic of football (I’ll give it a rest for a while after today as the season is well and truly over) I’m going to mention the highly debated topic of whether or not Liverpool should be allowed to enter The Champions League next season after winning it this year but failing to qualify in the usual fashion in The Premiership.

I am not a Liverpool fan but think they should be given the chance to defend their title, however this must NOT be at the expense of any other club, be it Everton, Manchester United or some small Slovakian team.

I cannot see how Liverpool can just be dumped in the competition with all the other clubs, the numbers just wouldn’t add up, there would be one club too many.

The fairest possible way is for Uefa to offer all qualified clubs a large sum of money as well as a guaranteed place in The Uefa Cup to surrender their Champions League place which will be then handed to Liverpool. The money handed over will be taken from any prize money given to Liverpool.

“Minnow” teams who still need to qualify for The Champions League GROUP STAGES may jump at the chance. They may have to face teams like Manchester United in the qualifying stages and therefore their chances of reaching those group stages is extremely slim.

A guaranteed Uefa Cup spot as well as a wealthy addition to the transfer kitty would be welcomed by some I am sure. If no clubs volunteer their place then Liverpool will have to make do with the Uefa Cup themselves.

Liverpool win it, should they be allowed to defend it?

Next season Uefa need to make some decision in case this ever happens again. This decision must be made BEFORE the season starts. One idea for the decision would be if a team like Liverpool failed to qualify for The Champions League via The Premiership but won the European competition, they would take the place of the nearest team in their country, in this years case – Everton. I must stress, this must NOT happen this time. It would be totally unfair on Everton who have done wonders to reach fourth place.

30th May 2005 - 11:08 BST
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Hehehehe! I’ve just stumbled across this excellent blog site supposedly written by one of the sons of American business tycoon Malcolm Glazer who has taken over Manchester United…. I mean Manchester Buccaneers.

It is obvious that this site is a joke, no American is that stupid (or are they Mr. Bush?). Some Liverpool, Man City or Leeds fan is probably having a great time writing it, but all the same it is extremely funny.

Make sure you read them comments sent in my Manchester Buccaneers fans, they’re taking it so seriously and are all moaning, crying and threatening the blog owner. It’s just pure quality!

29th May 2005 - 15:31 BST
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The American’s just don’t do football, or what they would call it “soccer”. Mind you judging by yesterdays game neither do England. Last nights “SoccerTainment” match between England and USA was dire to say the least. I watched the first half in the pub but left at half time in disgust.

Fair play to Sven for fielding a team of youngsters and previously uncapped players, they do deserve to prove themselves ahead of the World Cup Finals next summer but based upon last nights game I can’t see any new faces joining England in Germany.

The only player who sold himself well was Kieran Richardson (ManU player who was on loan at West Brom this season). He scored two goals on his debut, both in the first half.

While the American’s pushed England and played well, although scoring a goal they never looked like beating a poor England side. Just shows, they made be arguably the strongest country in the world not at football though!

Still, there were a few good players, maybe new Manchester United owner Malcolm Glazer was at the game scouting out new Yankees to play at Old Trafford!!! :o)

While on the topic of football I ordered the new Leeds United home shirt on Friday. Not over the internet, I’m not making the same mistake as last year! I rang up the order line. I should have the shirt by 4th June, wonder if they’ll get it right this year?

28th May 2005 - 09:13 BST
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Big Brother 6 is now in full swing. 13 new housemates have entered the house. Like you I know little about them, but here are my first impressions on the brave, stupid fools….

Derek I really hate this housemate. His manner is nauseating. He talks down to the viewer and fellow housemates (this will cause many conflicts) and has very strong and often controversial opinions. He is very openly gay, I have nothing against homosexuals but when someone is so camp it makes Graham Norton look butch it makes you cringe.

Lesley Thick Northern girl who couldn’t even work out how to open the door to get into the house, mind you she probably didn’t see the door past her XXL bust. Very self-opinionated and thinks she is a lot better than she is. Makes you wonder if they have mirrors in Huddersfield.

Sam Again very unmodest and has very strong opinions on what she does NOT like. Sells herself using the “Sex Card” far too much in her auditions. If she is not hiding something interesting she will leave the house early on.

Maxwell My favourite housemate so far. Like Bubble from BB2 likes his football, beer and ladies. Reminds me of a London cab driver, comically rants about what he likes and hates about the world. Can see him doing well.

Vanessa Absolutely awful woman! Terrible, terrible, terrible. She is the real life Vicky Pollard “Yeah, but yeah but no but….” Someone needs to gag this bitch, I don’t think I can stand her for long.

Anthony One word – shallow. Acts like he is from a talentless boy band. He will be a dull character but unfortunately will do well as he’ll get the ladies and gays vote.

Roberto Acts and looks like a character straight out of Goodfellas. Fiery Italian who is now living in Liverpool. He looks like he could be part of the mafia. Maybe Big Brother should watch out when issuing him with evil tasks.

Makosi Says she is good looking – if you like large hair and large ear rings. Seems a very calm and pleasant lady although appears she could have a real temper. Anyone who pisses her off will probably know about it.

Craig I HATE this person. HATE him. Every other word that comes out of his mouth is an unnecessary profanity. He has some terrible views on society. Appears to be a fat, self-opinionated, wanker. Hope he offends someone in the house who can give him a smack in the mouth – he needs one.

Mary Very scary lady. Looks like the girl from The Exorcist. A self confessed white witch. One of these people who believes heavily in the paranormal. Could be an interesting housemate whose beliefs offend and disturb housemates.

Science He may dress and talk like Ali G but I like Science. Good character and seems genuine. He’ll certainly defend himself in a confrontation but I think will be a good, fair housemate.

Saskia Boring girl who boasts about how she is natural, likes sport and farting. Trying to sell herself too much I think and appears to be shallow. Has some very controversial view on immigrants coming into Britain “they all wanna kill us, bomb us” was just one opinion which I’m sure will be challenged.

Kemal The male equivalent of Vanessa. Will not shut up, needs a slap and behaves like he has ODed on Speed. Dresses like a woman and probably likes cock too.

Discuss this blog entry HERE

27th May 2005 - 18:25 BST
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Phew! What a really hot day! It would be great if it weren’t for the fact I was stuck in an office all day. It is now a Bank Holiday weekend so hopefully the next three days will be just as good.

It’s still very hot and I’m sitting here in my Barcelona football shirt (Spanish shirts seem to be much cooler than English ones!), playing some great music and am getting ready for some friends coming round for an evening of curry and Big Brother.

There seems to be some strange obsession held by myself and millions of other Brits involving watching a group of people live it out in a strange house over two months, being handed degrading tasks, fight amongst themselves in between sleeping, drinking, sleeping, smoking, sleeping and cooking.

Still love it or hate it (I love it!), there is little way of avoiding it completely as lazy news journalists give themselves the summer off reporting real news and get “Exclusive” gossip for their particular tabloid.

If you really want to avoid the Big Brother phenomena I suppose you could find some cave to live in until mid-August but you’ll probably discover you’re sharing it with some Taliban terrorist who is getting Big Brother updates via SMS.

One last thing for Big Brother housemates to remember – when you see Davina McCall, don’t say “Fuck” or “Bugger”!

Discuss this blog entry HERE

26th May 2005 - 22:59 BST
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What a great game of football last night! Liverpool took on Italian giants AC Milan in the final of The Champions League in Istanbul and won in one of the most exciting games of football I have ever seen.

It really was a game of two halves (well four if you count extra time). After the first 45 minutes, Liverpool looked dead and buried 3-0 and AC Milan looking hungry for more.

Then early into the second half Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard opened the game up with a great goal. Even though they were still trailing 3-1 at this point I had a strong feeling things were going to happen. Liverpool were on fire and managed to turn the game around to leave a final score of 3-3.

After extra time came a dreaded penalty shoot out. AC Milan, exhausted and demoralised, coupled with some excellent goalkeeping from the Liverpool keeper lost handing Liverpool the Champions League Trophy.

Being a Leeds fan I don’t really like Liverpool in domestic football, but I was pleased to see them win in the way they did last night (even though I like AC Milan). It is great to see an English team achieve something like this (unless it’s Manchester United of course).

Steven Gerrard - the man who should be leading his country

Steven Gerrard was outstanding, there are very few captains in football who can rally their team mates round and claw back from 3-0 against one of the best teams in the world. This is why I strongly believe Sven should make Gerrard the England captain.

Too often have England thrown away leads, become demoralised or just given up. I put a lot of this blame onto current captain David Beckham. It is time for Beck’s to hand over the captains armband to Stevie Gerrard and let a real leader take charge.

Well done Liverpool!

Discuss this blog entry HERE

22nd May 2005 - 17:32 BST
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Sky One’s football drama Dream Team is on its penultimate episode tonight and it looks set to be the best episode of the season so far. Previews and synopsises for the episode suggest that a major character will be killed in a typical fashion for the series.

For those of you not in the know Dream Team is a footballing drama series on Sky One. It is absolutely nothing like the ITV1 offering, Footballers’ Wives. The storylines are better, the acting is better, quite simply it is a quality television programme.

The question all DT fans are asking though is who will be killed and who will be the killer? There are so many different possibilities and I am sure it will not be the obvious choice.

Here are a few shots of the preview for the upcoming episode…

Possible candidates for the murderer….

DON BARKER – Former Harchester United manager who left the club in disgrace. Still seeks revenge on those who drove him out.

VIVIAN “JAWS” WRIGHT – Harchester’s player manager. Has a history of mental health problems. His ex-wife left him after having an affair with one of his team mates. Jaws always believed the player sleeping with his wife was Clyde Connelly who committed suicide in December. In tonight’s episode Jaws will learn that Clyde was not the man cheating with his wife, Ryan Nay-Smith was and the team knew this all along.

KARL FLETCHER – A Harchester United legend. Was bribed by Barker to poison a team mate. This all went wrong and Karl’s fiancée got poisoned instead (she survived). Karl is facing attempted murder charges thanks to Don Barker.

Possible candidates for the murder victim….

DON BARKER – Don has wrecked many lives of his former players and their wives/girlfriends. He certainly doesn’t seem long for this world.

VIVIAN “JAWS” WRIGHT – Jaws will be angry with the news he is set to hear, very angry. His team mates know he is unstable. Will Jaws be killed in an attempt to stop him hurting somebody else?

KARL FLETCHER – The favourite to die, especially as the synopsis reads “And Harchester loses a legend. *Demise Of A Major Character*”.

RYAN NAY-SMITH – An obvious choice. Betrayed Jaws by having an affair with his partner. Jaws once suspected Ryan of this and threatened to kill him at the time, now that Jaws knows for sure Ryan must surely be on the hit list.

Of course it is very rarely who you suspect it to be, so all these speculations are probably wrong. The only way to find out is to watch Dream Team, tonight on Sky One.

Discuss this blog entry HERE

21st May 2005 - 23:44 BST
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There’s been no blog updates for nearly a week! Mainly because I’ve been feeling ill for the last six or seven days, am feeling a lot better today though so thought I should pull my finger out.

I was suffering from a bad cold and I was off work from Wednesday onwards. It’s one of these viruses where you aren’t too ill to be bedridden all day, but you are not well enough to do much else! The days dragged and I started feeling sorry for myself. I ended up watching shows like Neighbours and the Leeds United: Best of Europe DVD. It was certainly a boring three days; I certainly don’t envy the unemployed.

My savior last week

While off work I kept seeing this Crazy Frog advert on TV. It is really starting to piss me off. It is on almost every set of adverts not once but twice! I am yet to find anybody that likes this frog, I did however read somewhere that it is worth an estimated £10million!

I think the ‘Chav’ population must occupy 99.9% of the C.F.C. (Crazy Frog Customers) and in-between Happy Slapping on their stolen mobile phones probably listen to the annoying amphibian while drinking White Lighting Cider.

Something else I noticed this week was the new 3D Weather service from The BBC. What a crock of crap. The BBC have obviously never heard of the phrase “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it”. The new weather system looks too modern and unless you live in the far South of England would find it a lot harder to see the weather for your region! If you live in Inverness you’re fucked quite frankly.

Another thing about this weather, indeed all TV weather broadcasts, why are only selected towns and cities listed on the map? Here we have Aberdeen, Newcastle, Norwich, Cardiff and Plymouth. Why the BBC feels the need to list these and not cities like London, Birmingham, Manchester and Leeds is a mystery to me.

Lastly moving onto the topic of football, you can now pre-order the new Leeds United kit. Long-time fans of Sparkster.net will no doubt remember the problems I had last summer obtaining the shirt which I ordered online. The order didn’t actually go through, even though I did everything right! This year I am taking no chances and am ringing the mail order department direct…. Trouble is when I ring the hotline there is a pre-recorded answer phone telling me the service is unavailable!!!! It’s so infuriating the poor service of The Leeds United Retail Department. No doubt I will “eventually” get m 2005/6 shirt and no doubt I will have the same problems getting the 2006/7 shirt next season.

Finally I had to raise a smile today. Arsenal won The FA Cup, beating Manchester United on penalties. Man Utd had the better of the game but simply couldn’t score against Arsenal. Fair play to The Gunners, they had a game plan and stuck to it. Anybody who says that the best team lost is very, very wrong. If Manchester United were indeed the best team they would have taken their chances and scored against Arsenal.

When it came down to penalties it was inevitable that Manchester United would lose. The reason being they have the most amount of English players in their team and we all know how badly England get on in penalty shoot outs! It was in fact Englishman Paul Scholes who’s saved penalty saw Arsenal win the cup.

Well done Arsenal!

I was actually out when the game was being played and had the game recording on Sky+. I tried very hard to avoid the result so I could watch it when I got back. The result was practically given away to me when just at the bottom of my road I saw a sad looking Man Utd fan returning from the pub about 40 minutes late (just about enough time to cover extra time and penalties). After seeing this I strongly suspected the outcome and was not wrong!

Discuss this blog entry HERE

15th May 2005 - 22:00 BST
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So Southampton have been relegated to The Coca Cola Championship after losing 2-1 to Manchester United. It’s not so bad, there are many good teams down there. Leeds United, West Ham, Leicester City… and Luton Town – Hahaha.

It's Coca Cola all round at Southampton

Bad luck Southampton although your poor performances across the season deserved it. You chairman Rupert Lowe is a tosser, Harry Rednapp is a tosser and when Leeds were relegated said “What goes around comes around”. Too true Harry Redknapp, too true :o)

The Titanic and Harry Redknapp
One left Southampton and went down the other joined Southampton and went down

Commiserations to both Norwich and Crystal Palace, I liked both of you and was sorry to see you go down, won’t want to see you win next season though when you play Super Leeds United!

Many congratulations to West Brom though. They changed Premiership history by becoming the first team who were bottom on Christmas Day to stay in The Premiership. Good luck for the future and thanks for Rob Hulse, he’s great!

That’s football almost over with for another season. There’s the Play Offs, FA Cup and Champions League finals still to come before a brand new season in August.

It’ll be interesting to see what happens to Manchester United over the next few weeks and next season with their new owner Malcolm Glazer. It looks like every non-ManU fan in the country is laughing, including ‘ Die Hard Man City fans’ Oasis. Look what they had on their amp on Top of the Pops…

Discuss this blog entry HERE

Previous May blog entries have been moved to the archive