30th January 2005 - 12:00 GMT
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Leeds United yet again left their fans bitterly disappointed yesterday after a 1-1 draw against Brighton at Elland Road.
Leeds were by far the better team in the first half which is when they scored, however a poor performance in the second half and inability to finish chances cost them dear.
While a lot of the blame can be pointed at certain players, personally I am starting to get a little fed up with manager Kevin Blackwell.
Pack your bags Blackwell and call yourself a taxi out of Leeds!
He puts many players out of position, for example our top striker David Healy is on the wing. He doesn’t seem to make any tactical changes or substitutions until it’s too late (when Brighton equalised) and as Leeds often seem to have poor second halves, I can’t see him motivating the players very well at half time.
I’m full of praise for Blackwell in the way he has built a mid-table Championship team from absolutely nothing. Nearly all the players in the team are either freebies or from the academy and he few players that did cost a fee were all £500k or less initially.
Blackwell also seems a good coach for the players, but he is not, I repeat NOT a decent manager! It is time for him to go and hopefully the new chairman Ken Bates will release this. 1 scrappy win, 1 draw and 1 defeat against “average at best” opposition is NOT good enough and the problems mentioned above are not being addressed.
Step down as manager Blackie, return as head coach or leave to manager another club, but please don’t continue this farce at my football club.
29th January 2005 - 11:22 GMT
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Damn postal couriers, can’t do a simple task of delivering my order on time…
Earlier in the week, I ordered (via a friend) a KVM Switch and a NIC Card to network an old PC of mine to my router.
I was told it would be delivered yesterday (Friday) and was today planning on connecting it up, reinstalling Windows XP and having a fresh, clean PC system.
The online retailer who the order was placed with dispatched the parts on time via a well known courier – let’s just call them Shitty Link.
Now, all the courier had to do was keep to their schedule and I would have had my order. That would mean instead of moaning now on my blog, I would be networking. But oh no, they couldn’t do a simple task, my parts are probably in some depot in Bristol!
This annoyance got me asking the question “How hard is it to transport a package from Location #A to Location #B”. Obviously not very; walk through any park in any town or city in Britain and you’ll see a man and his dog. The man will throw the ball to his dog. The dog will collect the ball and return it to his over. A simple enough task, even an animal as thick as a dog can do it, so why can’t these bloody couriers!!??
Maybe I should have placed ordered through Fido
Anyway, that’s my rant over with, hopefully Super Leeds United can cheer me up and beat The Seagulls AKA Brighton this afternoon. Leeds lost to Brighton last year in a dismal performance – I do NOT want to see that again.
Its not that I want to kill the Seagulls, I just want to beat them 50-0
C’mon Leeds!
28th January 2005 - 23:00 GMT
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Ex-footballer turned movie star Vinnie Jones has today revealed that if the offer became available he would quit Hollywood and return to Elland Road to manage Leeds United.
Vinnie had a football career with many clubs, including Leeds United when they won the league in 1991/2. He had a fiery reputation and was shown more than his fair share of cards. According to reports Vinnie once brandished a shotgun to then manager Howard Wilkinson after a disagreement.
Vinnie's a Leeds fan!
I really can’t see Vinnie becoming manager, if however he was appointed I can see positives and negatives.
Positives being he would take no shit. Lazy players like Michael Duberry would really know about it if they didn’t pull their weight. Vinnie also loves Leeds and would have a lot of passion.
Negatives and there are a few, I think his temperament easily get the better if him. I would worry that he may go too far with some players and physically hurt them or even threaten them with weapons (maybe)! I’m sure he wouldn’t control himself on the touchline either – he would probably get a lot of bans and spend more time in the stands than the ever injured Seth Johnson.
Still, can’t see it happening but makes an interesting story.
It’s FA Cup Fourth Round this weekend. Leeds may be out but that’s not to mean I can’t enjoy some of the games. Chelsea v Birmingham, Man Utd v Middlesbrough, Oldham v Bolton and most interestingly Southampton v Portsmouth are all on telly.
Hopefully all the underdogs will win and Chelsea and Man Utd will be knocked out. I also hope that Newcastle United lose to Coventry. Newcastle have 3 real twats in their team. Manager Graham Souness representing Scotland in the twat awards, Craig Bellamy representing Wales and Alan Shearer representing England. The Twats of Britain.
More importantly to me though is the Leeds game against Brighton. This really is a must win game. The league is so open at the moment that a win could move Leeds to within 5 points off the playoffs in 10th place while defeat could put them as low as 17th and within 8 points off the relegation zone (should the other teams down there win). Strange league huh?
27th January 2005 - 23:03 GMT
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I had to go to the dentists this afternoon and that meant passing through the city centre. Walking through town is starting to become an unpleasant experience these days. You can’t seem to make it through without being hassled to part with money…
While I was walking up through town, what can only be described as a hippy came up to me and without introducing himself, thrust out a book in front of me and asked if I read much. Cautiously I backed off explaining that I had a dentist appointment in a matter of minutes.
The hippy must have taken too many drugs because he ignored me and started explaining about his cause. While it was obviously important to him (he’d been standing around freezing his bollocks off in town all day) it didn’t seem to be that important compared to other worthwhile causes like famine, tsunami victims, childrens charities, etc.
He mentioned about yoga and how he and his group did stuff (I can’t remember much, I was trying to get away). He then said he is asking everybody he meets for £2.00. A bit cheeky I think, coming up to people in the street and demanding set payments.
In a quick attempt to get away I chucked 50p into his bumbag (suspiciously not a charity box or bucket) and fled. I didn’t even have £2 to give him, but due to the fact he didn’t explain his cause to well, I felt it could have been for anything and not worthy of it.
I’m all for charity workers, I feel they do a marvellous job, but this one was rude, pushy and didn’t sell his cause well at all (if there was in fact one!).
Screw you hippy!
As I hurried up through town I noticed another poor bastard had been cornered by a street seller. The merchant was trying to get the innocent civilian to try and buy a gold chain, he didn’t seem at all interested so the seller kept lowering the price as the victim walked away. Why can’t these people accept “No” for an answer?
Can’t we just take a walk through town nowadays without being bombarded to buy something?
I would like to say that serious charity workers on the streets do a very worthwhile job and I have nothing against them. They are polite, respectful and explain their causes well. Even though most people appear to stear clear of them like zebras from lions on an Africa nature show.
Moving on from the trauma in town, I went to the cinema this evening to see Meet the Fockers. It was just as funny as I had hoped for. I am a big fan of the original – in fact it is one of my best films. This certainly did not disappoint. Probably the best film I have seen in 2005 so far and much better than Alexander crap I saw last week.
The cinema was packed, there were a large amount of chav’s watching. I’m not really surprised though, according to ChavScum.co.uk, the common chav’s favourite type of film is the sequel to a big, popular movie. As Meet the Parents was such a success back in 2000, this was the perfect movie for a Chav to watch before going out to KFC and then the local Spar for some White Lightening cider.
Chav scum
26th January 2005 - 22:05 GMT
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Leeds’ impressive away form came to an end this evening in a very dismal performance against out of form Derby. If Leeds produce many more results like this, new chairman Ken Bates may well be calling for manager Kevin Blackwell’s head.
"Grrrr! Homer mad! Grrrr!" etc etc...
One of the most frustrating things is that had they won today and against Brighton on Saturday, Leeds would be in 6th – a play off position. Still that’s Leeds United for you, the most unpredictable and inconsistent team in England.
So it’s back to the drawing board in preparation for Saturday’s game, hopefully Leeds can prove today’s game was just a blip and continue the good run they had prior to today.
The only thing that made me smile in the football world this evening was the Carling Cup Semi Final Second Leg. Chelsea beat Manchester United 2-1 and will go to the final. I don’t like Chelsea very much, but I despise Man Utd with a passion. Anyone who beats them gets my backing!
25th January 2005 - 21:18 GMT
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This evening I watched last night’s episode of Anatomy for Beginners on Channel 4. It was fucking sick – absolutely disgusting!
I’m not normally squeamish by things like this but I couldn’t watch the whole episode. It was so disgusting I had to turn it off , this is the first time I have ever had to do this with TV show or film.
For those not in the know, Anatomy for Beginners is a program which aims to show how the human body works by dissecting a dead corpse.
Last night’s episode involved removing the skin of a dead body revealing all the organs. The body had been drained of its blood, which made things even more sickening. All the muscle, ligaments and fatty tissue were visibly present.
The show certainly looked interesting, but you will need a VERY strong stomach to watch it. It was disgusting and I’m sad to say I can’t watch the other episodes.
24th January 2005 - 20:07 GMT
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So Bez won Big Brother then. To be honest I didn’t even watch the show last night. I lost all interest in it after John, Jackie and Jeremy went. These were the only entertaining housemates in the house and I couldn’t care less who won it.
Bez will use the money to sort his life out which I suppose is a good thing - he's broke. No doubt some of the prize money will go on recreational drugs as he's a self confessed user, but I suppose it's up to him what he wastes his money on.
"Guess what I'm gonna be spending me prize money on! Hahahahaha!!!"
Big Brother 6 not starting until May, that’s reality TV over and done with for 4 months, unless you count Wife Swap which starts a new series this Wednesday.
Anyway, as you may well know for the first time in ages it is actually very good to be a Leeds United fan. In celebration of this I have compiled a CD of tunes past and present which reflect the emotions of Leeds fans throughout the season so far.
Here the track listings and cover design:
Note: I am NOT making the album available for download. It is illegal to distribute these MP3s. I don’t want Sparkster.net to be closed down and for me to go to prison. I’m so beautiful I’m sure to get raped. You’ll just have to dig them out your CD Collection or download them.
1) Leeds United F.C. – Leeds , Leeds, Leeds
2) Yazz & The Plastic Population - The Only Way Is Up
3) Queen - We Are The Champions
4) Chumbawumba – Tubthumping
5) U2 - Beautiful Day
6) M.C. Hammer - U Can't Touch This
7) Real McCoy – Run Away
8) Scissor Sisters - Take Your Mama Out
9) The Darkness - Growing On Me
10) The White Stripes - Seven Nation Army
11) Run DMC vs Jason Nevins - It's Like That
12) Elvis Presley - A Little Less Conversation (JXL Radio Edit Remix)
13) Leeds United F.C. – Leeds, Leeds
14) Eminem - Lose Yourself
15) Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
16) The Beatles - Can't Buy Me Love
17) The Pogues – White City
18) Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out
19) Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over
20) Dido – White Flag
21) Leeds United F.C. – Glory, Glory Leeds United
Last but by no means least; check out the O.T.B. page, I’ve added a new section – ratings for all the films I have seen (and will see) at the cinema throughout 2004 and 2005
23rd January 2005 - 13:46 GMT
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Yesterday I was mugged. Mugged of 3 hours of my life and £10.00 of my hard earned cash. Surprisingly no law was broken, but a crime was certainly committed. A crime against film making.
The incident happened at The Showcase Cinema’s in Bristol. My friend and I went out to see The Aviator, the cinema was packed and we didn’t fancy sitting through a long film in a full screen. We decided to go and see Alexander and pay for premium seats, after all the film was over 3 hours long.
The film was really boring and the plot extremely hard to follow. This was not due to complexity but to the fact it didn’t seem to make much sense, it was just a bunch of things that happened to Alexander the Great throughout his life. Rarely reasons for the events were explained!
The only good part of the movie were two impressive battle scenes involving thousands of people, even these were hard to follow though as there was just too much action.
"I think I'm on the wrong film set!"
Something else I found strange about the film was that most of the cast had Irish accents. I thought this was very strange especially as they were supposed to be Macedonian! Still, at least they weren’t all American like in so many historic films. Alexander was told from a very American point of view though which like with so many films in the past made it worse.
I really didn’t like this film, had it been cut down to 2 hours it may have been more acceptable, but for the duration it was along with the weak script and plot I simply cannot recommend it to anyone except insomniacs.
22nd January 2005 - 18:21 GMT
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Leeds United are “spiggin’ awesome!” a scrappy 1-0 win for The Whites today against Stoke was all that was needed to secure all 3 points for the best team in the land.
Now Leeds are just 6 points off a play off place, with administration starved off, a new & competent chairman and players willing to fight for the cause. For the first time in ages it feels Leeds are moving in the right direction.
I can honestly say "It’s FUCKING BRILLIANT to be a Leeds fan!".
The future's bright. The future's white.
Marching on Together!
Oh and Liverpool lost again to relegation fodder Southampton - Hahahaha!
22nd January 2005 - 11:15 GMT
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So as speculated Ken Bates bought Leeds United yesterday morning. I learnt this very exciting news from BBC Breakfast, 5 minutes before I was due to leave for work. I then ran upstairs and watched all I could of Sky Sports News before I was forced to leave.
Bates has a few critics but I think he has the potential to do wonders for Leeds. Back in 1982 when I was a little bambino he bought Chelsea for £1. They were in a worse state than Leeds are now and he turned them into one of the strongest football teams in Europe. I’m really hoping he can do this to Leeds.
Leeds still have some large debts, but for a massive football club and with Bates’ money they are a lot more manageable. Remember there are a lot more clubs with far greater debts than Leeds now, in fact every football club besides Chelsea, Man Utd and Liverpool have debts.
That last paragraph was mainly directed at some friends of mine who were insisting Leeds were still fucked because of their finances. They’re not football fans so can’t really comment sensibly on the situation; in fact one of them even likes rugby – pft! Again that paragraph was directed at them. You know who you are! :o)
Anyway, I’m going off topic, very good news for Leeds, hopefully they can get 3 points this afternoon when they travel to Stoke.
Lastly, I was planning on going to see Meet the Fockers last night. One problem came up though. One major problem. It isn’t out until next Friday. Forgot about that didn’t I! Doh!!!
20th January 2005 - 17:52 GMT
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Brrrrrr!!! It’s bloody cold outside, it’s only a 10 minute walk from my work back to where I live but I got freezing! There’s a horrible wind out there, I hate this weather, if it’s going to be cold I’d like there to be some visible evidence of it, like 4 feet of snow across the city.
Had I been outside any longer, I fear this may have been the outcome
Anyway, moving on from the weather onto another depressing topic (well for me) – football, that game where I always watch my favourite teams lose and get humiliated week in week out.
Unsurprisingly Man Utd did beat Exeter City last night, although it was only 2-0. It was nice to see that Exeter doing themselves proud - well done!
Now onto the ever ongoing saga of Leeds United, they have yet again been linked with another takeover, set to eradicate their massive debts. This time Ken Bates has been linked with buying the club. Remember Ken Bates? He was the man who denied all connections to Leeds only the other week.
Lots of Leeds fans are against Bates buying the club, I personally think “beggars can’t be choosers”. If Bates didn’t buy Leeds, administration would be almost a certainty. Administration would mean a 10 point deduction, player sales and a strong possibility of the whole club being wound up! I think a Bates takeover would be good news. What's the worst he can do? Put us into administration?
That’s enough of the football talk, I was asked by a friend to go and see The Aviator yesterday. It was late, I was tired and I didn’t fancy going to see a Leonardo DiCaprio film that night, especially one which is 3 hours long! The last time I saw DiCaprio he had frozen to death on some plank of wood and then chucked into The Atlantic Ocean by Kate Winslet.
What is it with Di Caprio and 3 hour long movies?
I’ll probably go to see it before too long anyway, especially as I’m hoping to see Meet the Fockers tomorrow so I’ll owe my friend a film of his choice. The Aviator has had some good reviews so I'll probably enjoy it anyway.
Last but by no means least I got a very funny e-mail today. It’s a collection of Peter Kay observations and life questions. They’re very funny! If they seem familiar, back in July 2004, I posted another set of his musings.
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?
5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
7. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
8. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
10. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
12. What do people in China call their good plates?
13. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
14. What do you call male ballerinas?
15. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
16. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
17. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
18. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
19. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window.
No.11 really does make you wonder...
19th January 2005 - 18:10 GMT
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Man Utd play at Exeter this evening
The home for 90% of Man Utd fans
The reason I am blogging this evening is to wish The Conference football team Exeter City the very best of luck in their FA Cup 3rd Round Replay against the true evil of football – Manchester United.
Any sports fan will know, Man Utd were embarrassingly unable to beat Exeter City the first time round at Old Trafford so are playing a replay in Exeter’s back yard.
Man Utd manager Alex Ferguson is expected to field a much stronger side this time around after he totally disrespected the FA Cup and Exeter by originally putting out a weakened reserve team.
I know the odds are stacked way against Exeter but ever football fan who doesn’t support the “scum” will live in hope tonight that Exeter will pull off the biggest shock in FA Cup history.
I was thinking of becoming an Official Exeter City Supporter for tonight but decided against it. The two teams I support full time – Leeds United and England aren’t doing very well so I don’t want my bad luck to rub off on anybody else!
If Exeter were to do the unthinkable and beat Man Utd tonight I am sure Ferguson wouldn’t congratulate the winning side for a top performance. The slimy toad would moan and moan and come up with an excuse to explain the game.
So Mr. Ferguson if by some small chance you are reading this, here are some pre-emptive excuses you can use…
1) The referee wouldn’t have given that goal at Old Trafford
2) The referee wouldn’t have given that free kick at Old Trafford
3) The referee wouldn’t have given that penalty at Old Trafford
4) Not as many fans as at Old Trafford
5) We didn’t play at Old Trafford
Come on Exeter!!!
18th January 2005 - 22:00 GMT
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Hahahaha!!! So-called Premiership Giants Liverpool have just lost 1-0 to Coca Cola Championship side Burnley in the FA Cup 3rd Round.
The result was no less than deserved. Burnley played great, but Liverpool put out a shit squad and played a shit performance. Liverpool were totally disrespectful to both Burnley and The FA Cup! I hate it when clubs put out weakened teams in this competition and results like these just make me smile.
The stats of the game speak for themselves. The only goal of the game came from an own goal and Liverpool had a man sent off. The own goal was a real howler in fact, if you were wondering what was going on down in the box, take a look at this interpretation of what happened.
17th January 2005 - 23:30 GMT
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A big round of applause for the television viewing public – not!
It seems that the majority of viewers who watch Big Brother don’t know what entertainment is. With 66% of votes against him, John McCririck was evicted from The Big Brother House this evening.
It was a choice between John, who has been one of the best housemates in the shows history and Bez, a boring housemate who doesn’t participate or get involved.
Due to the amount of drugs Bez has abused his body with over the years, it is often hard to even know what he is saying, Jackie Stallone put it perfectly “he may as well be speaking Chinese”.
Schools should really scrap all these “Say no to Drugs” videos and just get Bez to come in. He’s a brilliant advert against recreational drugs.
Bez was also very pissed off when he learnt he was up for eviction and promised he would kick off if he sees any housemate slagging him off. Everybody knows Davina shows the evicted housemate the back stabbing, so why the hell did 66% of Big Brother viewers keep him in?
The only remaining hope I have for the series is that Bez, without his illegal substances continues to go mad and starts attacking the housemates, causing Big Brother to send in security who Bez will then start on. That would be funny!
17th January 2005 - 21:45 GMT
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Yesterday I went for my first introductory driving lesson! I went to an empty(ish) car park and practiced a few basics… turn on engine, check gear is in neutral, press on clutch, put car into 1st gear, push accelerator, slowly release clutch, drive, press clutch, break. See I can do it :o)
An early edition of The SmartCar
I’ve been listening to the soundtrack for Team America: World Police today. One of the funniest parts of the movie was the songs. “Everyone has AIDS”, “Freedom Isn’t Free” and the brilliant “The End of an Act” – Pearl Harbour did indeed suck!
Like with Trey Parker’s previous efforts (for South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut), the Team America soundtrack is brilliant, bringing back funny memories of the film. The music and lyrics aren’t to bad either…
“What would you do, if someone told you to fight for freedom? Would you answer the call, or run away like a little pussy?”
“I guess Pearl Harbour sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you…”
“Everyone has AIDS! Aids, Aids, Aids, Aids, etc… etc… etc…” - the less said about these lyrics the better!
16th January 2005 - 09:43 GMT
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Yesterday I said that it would be very difficult to accurately predict the result of the Leeds – Cardiff game, mainly because Leeds would either play brilliantly or dire. Well in some ways I was correct as they did both.
Leeds started the game in a really strong position and from the radio commentary, it sounded like I was listening to Barcelona and not a Championship team. It wasn’t too long before a much deserved goal was scored to put Leeds in front.
After the goal nothing, Leeds totally switched off and got battered for the rest of the game. They were able to keep the score at 1-0 until half time, but in the second half, Cardiff were awarded a very dubious penalty and made it 1-1. Leeds were lucky not to have lost the game.
Sticking with football, Arsenal have basically thrown away any chance of winning the league and may as well of handed The Premiership Trophy to Chelsea on a silver platter. They lost to Bolton last night, leaving Chelsea with a 10 point league advantage.
"Here is the trophy you ordered Mr. Abramovich"
Last night I went out for a meal with a friend to Garfunkel's in town. This is a great place to eat, the food they serve is delicious. I went for The All Day Breakfast, don’t laugh at my choice of meal for a Saturday night. It wasn’t your standard poor quality fried breakfast you would expect to find in a greasy café, it was really nicely done; it’s probably what The Queen has for breakfast.
Later on I watched the South Park Movie on DVD, I haven’t seen this film in years, but I remember it being so funny. It was just as amusing as I had remembered and really put shame to Team America.
15th January 2005 - 14:07 GMT
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Firstly I’ve moved all my previous January blogs into the archive. I have been very busy blogging this month and the main page is getting extremely cluttered.
Last night after going to a friends to play a bit of GoldenEye and Super Bomberman 2, I went to the cinema to see Team America: World Police.
The film was created by Trey Parker & Matt Stone who made the South Park series. Being a South Park fan this film looked very promising. Although it was very funny in places and topical (which I liked), it did leave me slightly disappointed (possibly because I was expecting something as funny as the hilarious South Park Movie).
The film is made using Thunderbird style puppets; these were hilarious to watch at first but after about 40 minutes the novelty had worn off. Still, the film kept amusing the audience with completely bizarre scenes. Once you’ve seen a string puppet vomiting, you’ve seen everything… well everything apart from a man eating his own head.
Overall, good film even though it is very strange, I recommend it.
Few in the puppet world shed a tear when Paris was destroyed
As I was out last night, I was unable to watch Big Brother (I’ll be able to watch it later as I have it on Sky+), although I did hear Jackie has gone. She was very entertaining, even though she probably didn’t know it (extraordinary, strange woman). I’m glad John Cririck has stayed as he is very good for entertainment. Whenever he’s in the house an argument can come from nowhere. :o)
Something else I recorded on Sky+ was a collection of programs from National Geographic. It’s rare I often watch this channel, but I noticed that they were showing a series of documentaries on animals that kill humans; these kinds of shows always interest me. I don’t know what the programs were called, probably “Fast Animals, Slow Children”.
Fast Animals, Slow Children - Only on National Geographic
Finally onto Leeds United. They’re playing Cardiff City at Elland Road this afternoon. The players will have to put all their off field problems behind them as a victory against the Welshmen would mean so much to the Leeds fans.
In recent years, Cardiff City and Leeds United have become bitter rivals following an FA Cup game in 2002 when Leeds suffered a surprise defeat and there was a lot of violence spurred on by certain members of Cardiff Football Club staff.
The off field problems will affect the Leeds players, there’s no doubt about that, I think they will react in one of two ways. Firstly they could totally give up in which case it could be a massacre and Cardiff could win, 2 or 3-0. On the other hand, the problems could bring the players together which will mean a fabulous performance and a massive win, maybe 4-1. I really can’t predict which it’ll be. :o(
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