27th February 2005 - 00:24 GMT
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I’m in a fucking brilliant mood this evening, absolutely over the moon! Regular visitors to this site won’t have to guess hard as to why I am so pleased. Yes, Leeds United won today, beating West Ham 2-1.
Take a look at The Championship table everybody, Leeds United are FOUR, yes FOUR points off a play off position.
This time last season Leeds were in a dire state, £100mill in debt, facing relegation with overpaid players who don’t give a shit. Now the finances have been stabilised, a whole new team has been built and the team tipped to fall into the lower divisions is on a serious fight for a return to the top flight.
Most of this is all down to the manager Kevin Blackwell. I know in the past I have criticised Blackie, but I would like to take this opportunity to thank Blackwell for all the work he has done for Leeds United Football Club. He has done a marvellous job against all odds.
Blackwell, you’re a genius, if you’re ever stuck for cash, why not write a book on football management, I have even designed a cover for your work. :o)
Anyway, moving on from the joys of Leeds United, I went to see The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou on Friday night. The film stars Bill Murray (from Groundhog Day, Ghostbusters to name a couple) amongst many other stars.
The film was certainly different from anything I have ever seen before. It follows world-famous oceanographer Steve Zissou on his quest to find the Jaguar Shark after it killed and ate his best friend.
Zissou is joined with his crew, wife, a pilot claiming to be his son, a heavily pregnant journalist and an accountant in the mission where they encounter pirates, rival oceanographer’s and other bizarre problems.
A top film and one I really recommend!
Lastly, it’s rugby again tomorrow. I should be watching the Ireland – England egg chasing game with a friend.
If I wasn’t being asked to watch England lose I would probably be watching The Carling Cup Final between Chelsea and Liverpool.The annoying thing is that both these fixtures are at EXACTLY the same time. Some morons at the Football & Rugby Associations are obviously not communicating!
25th February 2005 - 16:19 GMT
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Well it’s Friday and the weekend tomorrow. To most people it’s two days of rest, recreation and doing nothing. To people who work Saturday and Sunday this is a chance to get paid overtime but still begrudgingly work, secretly jealous of 90% of the country who are doing bugger all. To the unemployed it’s just another day of doing bugger all.
I’m one of the 90% off for the next two days so being in a good mood will post these jokes someone e-mailed me earlier today – enjoy.
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A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears and begins to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet" He struggles again to ask, nurse, are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look, and say's, "there's nothing wrong with them!”
Finally, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and replies," that was very nice thank you but, are... my... test...results...back
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People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the old man and said. " Don ' t you know
who I am? "
The man replied, " Yep, sure do. "
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't. " said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word? " asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute, " returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound horrifying, AGONY for all eternity?"
"Yep,” was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" Asked Satan.
"Nope,” said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me? "
The man calmly replied,
“Been married to your sister for 48 years!
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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected: a half-gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, a carton of orange juice, a head of lettuce, a can of coffee, and a 1 lb. pack of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
"You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly!"
24th February 2005 - 23:11 GMT
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So Chelsea have been kicking up stink following their game against Barca. Manager Jose Mourinho refused to speak to the media and has launched a complaint to Uefa. Chelsea claim it’s following communications between the Barca manager and referee at half time. Some may say it’s down to being a bad loser.
Still, in honour of this story I have created this picture on Microsoft Paint for the BBC Sport Crayon Game Competition. I won’t hold my breath on winning! :o)
It’s still been freezing in Bath today. We had quite a bit of snow last night. This settled but all melted as the morning went on. Then we had more snow, sleet and then rain. It’s been snowing again this evening, all these cold temperatures and wet downfalls are going to lead to freezing roads and pavements tomorrow morning! If I don’t blog tomorrow I’m probably in the Orthopaedic Ward with a broken leg having slipped up!
Still I don’t mind about the cold, tomorrow it’s Friday, I have a half day and then it’s the weekend!
Lastly, I found this amazing website. It has an online archive of all school photos taken in the last 50 or so years. See if you can find yourself - so good it's scary!
23rd February 2005 - 23:01 GMT
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Some entertaining football this evening, mainly in The Champions League. Man Utd lost 1-0 to AC Milan and from the sounds of things, Milan were all over them. I know I should really support the English teams, but I simply cannot cheer on my arch rivals.
I watched the Barcelona – Chelsea game. Chelsea lost 2-1 although there is a second leg (like for Man Utd). The referee was badly criticised for making bad decisions. OK, he did. BUT, throughout the season decisions have gone Chelsea’s way so many times. It all works out overall so I don’t think Chelsea have much cause for complaint. The Chelsea manager certanly didn't complain when he was managing FC Porto and his players got away with everything but murder in the Uefa Cup Final.
Moving on from football, it’s been freezing again today. We’ve had more snow, not a lot has settled – yet.
22nd February 2005 - 22:30 GMT
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It’s been very, very cold throughout today in Bath. We’ve had many flurries of snow, not a lot has settled but I am freezing my bollocks off typing this while I wait for the central heating to kick in…
Poor Arsenal! The first leg of The Champions League Second Round and they lose 3-1 to Bayern Munich. They have the second leg to make up, but that’ll mean them scoring 2 goals and not conceding should they wish to reach the quarter finals.
I watched the game on ITV1 and must admit they were awful. It was one of the worst performances I have seen from Arsenal. I only wish they had played the same against Leeds last season!
Liverpool were also in action against Bayer Leverkusen and won 3-1. Chelsea play Barcelona and Man Utd play AC Milan tomorrow.
I was taking a look at the Barcelona squad on the official website when I stumbled across the squad sheet for Barcelona’s Basketball team. Firstly I was unaware they had a basketball team, but the thing that really surprised me was the name of one of they players – Gregor Fucka! It’s the funniest name in sport since Stefan Kuntz of Germany!
What a poor bastard! What’s funnier is Fucka tried to get himself a Hotmail account but due to the nature of his surname was not allowed! The name also reminded me of Ben Stiller’s character in Meet the Parents – Greg Focker. More than just a coincidence I think!
Lastly, I watched the Chav program on Sky One yesterday. What a pile of inaccurate, self-opinionated rubbish!
The program was presented by self-proclaimed Chav Julie Burchill. She went on to glamorise Chav’s and criticise anybody who hates them. In her opinion, everyone who has a problem with them is surly middle class toffs who feel insecure about themselves.
She didn’t even give the proper description of a Chav! She described them as working class citizens who want to make their own unique style in their dress sense, music and bling bling. Nothing was mentioned of the problems hey cause!
Where I come from a Chav can be of any class whatsoever and doesn’t necessarily wear tracksuits, Burberry and cheap jewellery. A Chav is someone who is obnoxious, loud, potentially violent, hangs around in car parks and street corners drinking and smoking and is often seen wearing Burberry and bling bling.
Wearing crap doesn't make you Chav
Sorry Burchill, you tried to prove a point by defending the Chavs and rubbishing those who have a problem with them. In my opinion you failed as you got the facts wrong.
21st February 2005 - 20:57 GMT
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Well the BBC Weather Service did well (for once), they said it would snow early this week and it did. It started coming down this afternoon then stopped. Then we got another flurry around 7. It was a crap snowfall, there is only a small coating on the cars to show for it, hopefully they’ll be more tonight..
The snow scene in Bath was absolutely nothing like in this picture
The thing is if we were to get any more than an inch of snow, the whole country would grind to a halt and shutdown. Countries like Canada and Norway get torrential weather throughout the whole of winter and their transport and utility services run without any problems. OK, they’re better prepared for the freezing temperatures than the UK, but surly we can cope with the small amount we do get!
Today I’ve had a number of missed calls on my mobile from the number 08000 839330. At the time my phone was on silent so I was unable to answer. I was a little wary as there have been a lot of mobile phone scams about lately – a mystery number leaving a missed call alert on a users mobile, user calls back and gets a massive phone bill. However I believe 08000 is a free phone number. Still, I’m not dialling it, it’s probably some Indian Call Centre trying to sell be double glazing or life insurance.
Lastly tonight, I’ve been having some fun with a thread on the Leeds United forum WACCOE. It is a look-a-like thread, here’s some of the best ones.
 
Sky Sports News presenter and Malcolm's Dad
A bad boy menace and Bart Simpson
 
Two repulsive amphibians
20th February 2005 - 21:50 GMT
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Some good football matches today, firstly Burnley against Blackburn in a heated Lancashire derby. OK, the quality of football wasn’t great (the game finished 0-0) but there was certainly a heated atmosphere between the players and the fans.
The game was yet again interrupted by two morons who ran onto the pitch, one appearing to be quite violent and attacking policemen – what is it with football “fans” this weekend, they’re behaving like complete tossers!
The best game was yet to come with Newcastle v Chelsea on Sky Sports. Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho put out a weakened squad ahead of their Champions League clash with Barcelona on Wednesday. It really pisses me off when teams do this in The FA Cup and Chelsea got their just desserts…
Newcastle took the lead after only 4 minutes although Chelsea dominated the game, however were unable to score. At half time Mourinho used all three of his substitutions, brining on some proper players.
Using all your substitutions early on is just asking for trouble and this was proved when Wayne Bridge was injured and had to be taken off on a stretcher. As Chelsea had used all their substitutions they were unable to bring on a replacement and had to play with 10 men. Still they dominated (just proves Newcastle are crap) but were STILL unable to score.
To rub salt into the wounds, Chelsea’s keeper Carlo Cudicini was sent off, yet again, no replacement could be brought on.
The game ended 1-0 to Newcastle against a 9 man Chelsea reserve team. Chelsea’s dream of winning a quadruple is out the window, injuries to key players, bad decision making by the manager. Not a very good day to support Chelsea.
While I feel sorry for the injured players, I do find the outcome funny. Chelsea underestimated FA Cup like so many teams have done before and paid the price. I think it’s fitting for me to go – Hahahahahaha!!!
19th February 2005 - 22:47 GMT
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Watching some of the Everton – Man United game this evening I was totally shocked at the behaviour of groups of Everton fans.
A heated atmosphere was to be expected, after all Wayne Rooney was returning to his old ground. Booing and jeering in the game nowadays is acceptable to a degree. However the actions of certain Everton fans this evening were disgusting and bared similarities to those of thugs from the 70’s and certain foreign clubs.
Rooney had a number of missiles thrown at him, luckily he wasn’t hit. Goal keeper Roy Carroll was not so lucky and was hit by a mobile phone. This is so dangerous, he could have been killed or left brain damaged! Carroll was also threatened by a group of fans who refused to give his ball back to him.
This kind of behaviour is not pleasant and should not be tolerated. I hate Man United with a passion but only in the football sense, I wouldn’t wish harm upon their players or fans. It is unfair they were subjected to that kind of abuse.
I really like Everton but really hope the Football Association come down hard on them and give them a hard and deserved punishment as the behaviour really is not on.
19th February 2005 - 17:06 GMT
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Ah bugger it! Leeds have been totally outclassed and beaten 3-0 by Wigan today. It’s a shame as Leeds have been doing so well lately. Wigan are an excellent side and are almost certainties to get promoted to The Premiership.
Leeds now need to think about what they could have done better, write this game off and prepare for the West Ham game next Saturday. Annoyingly, West Ham have been shit – up until today when they beat Plymouth 5-0!
Still on the topic of football, the Arsenal – Sheffield United game was a very entertaining one. Arsenal’s Dennis Bergkamp was sent off for violent conduct and that wasn’t the only controversial incident.
It was a game of European super stars against tough, no nonsense Championship players. The game finished 1-1 and proved that all the Super skills of Arsenal couldn’t outdo the grit of Sheffield.
Southampton proved they are still in a right mess. They took a 2-0 lead against League One Brentford, although threw the lead away to draw 2-2. Pathetic! Bet that made jittery manager Harry Redknapp twitch! :o)
Coming up later this evening, the clash between Everton and Scum (Man Utd). Hopefully Everton can win – can’t see it though.
Now, if you’re after a new PC anytime soon, why not check out Somerset PCs. It is a website recently created by a friend of mine who used to sell PC’s on Ebay. The systems seem a lot cheaper than those sold in a well known PC chain store and you probably get a better service too. If anybody else would like a free plug for their website click here.
NOTE: Other Online PC stores are available. In fact Sparkster.net shares the server with a well known one!
Lastly, I saw the weather this morning, looks like its going to get a lot colder across the country the next few days, hopefully it’ll snow as there hasn’t really been any this year.
18th February 2005 - 23:42 GMT
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The FA Cup is back this weekend for the fifth round. Leeds got knocked out of the cup ages ago, but there are still a few games that look good this weekend…
Firstly Arsenal v Sheffield United. These teams met in the FA Cup semi final only a few years ago (after Sheffield knocked Leeds out!). If Arsenal play like they did against Crystal Palace on Monday they’ll win for sure – still you never know in the FA Cup. This game is on BBC1 from 12.10pm, Saturday
Everton v Man Utd. Pie lad Wayne Rooney returns to his old ground, no doubt he’ll receive a hot reception from the scousers even though his transfer earned Everton £25million and gave the players spirit – instead of fighting relegation like last season, they’re fighting for The Champions League. While Everton are good I can only see Man Utd winning this game, especially with Ruud Van Horseface playing again. This game is on BBC1 from 17.23pm, Saturday
"Who eat all the pies..."
Burnley v Blackburn. For me, the pick of the round. OK, these teams aren’t the best in the country but they are bitter rivals. This could be a heated game in which both teams put out strong, solid performances. Either team could win this one. Looking forward to this one! It’s on BBC1 from 13.30pm, Sunday
Lastly Newcastle v Chelsea. Newcastle aren’t having a great league season, European football next season looks unlikely. Chelsea on the other hand are about to step into a Champions League game against Barcelona next week and are 9 points clear at the top of The Premiership. I can only see the away team winning here, if Newcastle win I would be very surprised. This game is on Sky Sports One from 15.30pm, Sunday
The most important game of the weekend for me is Leeds United’s match against Wigan. Leeds will go into this game expecting to lose, Wigan are one of the best sides in the division and are playing at home. Leeds however are doing well and being the underdogs have nothing to lose. While Wigan are the obvious favourites, I can see Leeds getting something from this game. C’mon Leeds!
18th February 2005 - 18:59 GMT
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Bloody Chavs! I went down to my local shops earlier today to get some curry for dinner, while in Coopers (the grocery shop) I noticed a group of chavs no more than twelve years old trying to buy cigarettes. They were obviously refused and then after muttering to themselves about how the man behind the counter was “totally gay” left the shop.
After paying for my meal I left and proceeded home when I noticed the same group of chavs inside the off licence. Through the glass I noticed one of them was giving the man behind the counter abuse, probably because he too didn’t want to serve a minor Marlborough Lights and White Lightening Cider.
Now, I’ve seen a lot of teenagers turned down by shops as they look too young. When I was younger I was sometimes unable to get served for 18 rated videos and alcohol even though I was legally old enough. These minors however were obviously below age, in fact I’d go as far to say they were still in junior school.
Makes you think this chav culture is getting younger and younger. I think it’s only a matter of time before new born babies will be smoking cannabis, drinking cider from a Tele Tubbies bottle and wearing bling bling dummies.
Goo Goo Gaa Gaa Innit
Incidentally there is a program about Chavs on Sky One this coming Monday at 9pm. It looks interesting although from what I’ve read, the presenter is defending the chavs!
17th February 2005 - 22:42 GMT
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I went to the cinema this evening to watch Are We There Yet? starring the gangster rapper Ice Cube.
In the film, Ice Cube sees a bird he likes and wants to get off with. She won’t be any more than friends because he has no interest in her brat children. Bird then has to go off to Canada, Ice Cube ends up taking kids up to meet her in his beloved car – with comical results…
The film was nothing special, worth watching for a bit of midweek entertainment. It was very predictable (in fact most of the funniest scenes are in the trailer!) but this was to be expected, as well as this the laughs were very cheap.
Ice Cube did look a bit of a fool throughout the whole film, although that was the aim of his character. Still it is a completely different image from the one he portrayed in the 80’s and 90’s during his hip hop career.
Who would have thought the gangster who shouted "Fuck the Police" would be playing the clown 17 years on?
Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg are the same, great rappers in the time and then they made The Wash which was awful. All their music since then has been shit. Eminem is going the same way following the release of 8 Mile (although Eminem is in a different league to the excellent Dre, Snoop & Ice Cube).
The film did keep me entertained unlike the groups of kids in the cinema who got bored. They were running up and down the aisles, kicking chairs, talking and making a load noise grazing upon their Nachos. If they got bored they should leave and go and watch The Magic Roundabout.
Overall, I wouldn’t see it again, certainly wouldn’t buy the DVD. The current average score on IMDB is 3.5 which is very unfair in my opinion, especially as Churchill: The Hollywood Years is on 5.0 and Alexander has 5.5, both of which are terrible films.
If you’re bored one evening and you’re stuck for something to watch, give it a go. Also keep an eye out for the cameo role from Jerry Hardin – Deep Throat to X-Files fans.
16th February 2005 - 22:35 GMT
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Firstly a big thank you to Mr. Hobart AKA Daninthemix AKA DJ Dan AKA Hob Rat, I could go on…
He has used his superb music skills to make me a mix especially for my birthday next month. I haven’t heard it yet and will probably wait until my birthday before I do have a listen. It’s online now for download, so if you fancy a listen you can get it from his website here.
Once again, thanks Dan, I’ll get you those Stephanie McIntosh screen captures you wanted even quicker now - even though I've taken half a century already! :o)
Anyway, you may have noticed that I have added a new section to Sparkster.net. The webcam has now returned. Unlike when it was run in the summer, I am using no 3rd party resources or servers. The images captured by the webcam are uploaded directly onto the Sparkster.net server.
While it won’t be online all the time due to me sleeping, working, out the house and not turning on the PC and webcam, you should be able to catch me if your lucky. I recommend tuning in during Leeds United games. If I’m not at the ground or it’s a televised game, more than likely I’ll be listening over the Internet.
I’ve been known to jump and dance around the room when Leeds score! Mind you, Leeds are playing top of the table Wigan on Saturday so I don’t think I’ll be doing much dancing.
15th February 2005 - 21:53 GMT
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It’s been freezing in Bath all day, easily the coldest day of the winter. Yet again there is nothing to show for it though – 2 feet of snow would be nice! In this kind of temperature you really need to leave the heating on all day – I didn’t do this and the house is taking forever to heat up.
That’s enough about the weather; you know a blog site is running low on material when it starts mentioning that!
I’m currently watching the tsunami charity football game on ITV2 featuring a Europe First 11 Vs Rest of the World First 11. Here, the best players from around the world play a friendly benefit match in aid of the Asian tsunami victims.
Being a friendly it is a very slow game (even though the score is currently 6-3!) but it is still good watching the world’s greatest football talent playing against each other.
What’s more, Leeds United’s very own Lucas Radabe is playing! It’s great to see Lucas playing, he has been out of the Leeds team for so long with injury and it looks like he is finally making a come back.
Lucas Radabe. Leeds legend. Looks crap in red though!
According to the commentators, most of the major English clubs were asked if they would allow their players to take part in this match. Selfishly both Man Utd and Chelsea have not allowed any of their squad to take part. This is a disgrace, especially as they are two of the largest and richest clubs in the world. It would be nice and right to see both of them making a hefty donation to the appeal.
Arsenal didn’t do much better, they only allowed Thierry Henry to take part and with their manager Arsene Wenger also taking charge of Henry’s team, the Arsenal striker’s time on the pitch was kept to a minimum.
To me, this game is a warm up to The Champions League games next week. There are some mouth-watering games coming up – Chelsea v Barcelona, Man Utd v AC Milan, Arsenal v Bayern Munich and Liverpool v Bayer Leverkusen.
While I’d like to see Arsenal progress well, I’m going to be a right git and hope all the other three English teams fall out! They’re all bitter rivals of Leeds after all! Man Utd and Liverpool would wish the same upon Leeds and Chelsea have only got where they are by spending somebody else’s money. I’m so bitter! :o)
14th February 2005 - 20:23 GMT
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I read a very interesting article on the Internet yesterday. According to football website TEAMtalk, Leeds United may approach Newcastle United in a bid to sign the excellent James Milner on loan.
Who needs Wayne Rooney when you've got James Milner?
Milner was a fan’s favourite at Leeds in the 2002/3 and 2003/4 seasons, but was controversially sold to Newcastle after Leeds were relegated. Since then Milner has been out of favour at Newcastle with manager Graham Souness not really rating him.
At Leeds, alongside Aaron Lennon in midfield, Milner will be a massive asset and really help in the promotion campaign.
One major factor in whether Milner returns to Leeds or not is how well Newcastle do in the Uefa Cup and FA Cup. If they continue further into these competitions, Milner’s services may be required. Therefore I will be cheering Heerenveen on Thursday and Chelsea on Sunday, both of whom are playing Newcastle and could knock them out the competitions.
Remember, this story did come from the TEAMtalk website where the news stories are about as reliable as an old pissed bloke sitting in the corner of dirty pub.
One final football story this evening, what a complete moron Eidur Gudjohnsen of Chelsea is! Chelsea are to of the league and Gudjohnsen is arguably one of their best players.
So what does he do Saturday night (allegedly)? Go out, get pissed and drive home. Needless to say he got caught by police and was arrested after he overloaded the breathalyser machine when it reached 101% - the only other person to reach that limit was George Best.
An artists impression of Gudjohnsen out on Saturday night
Gudjohnsen is not the only player to get caught drink driving recently. Arsenal’s Jermaine Pennant was caught earlier in the year. It makes you wonder how many players actually do it and get away with it. More than you would think I bet…
13th February 2005 - 21:17 GMT
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My Sky+ fucked up this afternoon, I got a little worried as my warranty has expired on the box and new ones cost around £150-£200. After doing a reset the problems remained so I rung the customer help line. There I was told it is a known problem at their end and is being worked on. Phew – not my box.
Looking on Digital Spy it turns out this has happened before and some people believe it is Sky pissing about with the EPG Software.
Now Sky, if you’re going to experiment with the software fine, but why do it at a potential busy period for your customers? The Manchester derby just finishing, being followed by an FA Cup game on Sky Sports and the England – France rugby game was being shown on BBC1. Mind you, looking at the result, the English Sky viewers unable to watch the game are probably glad they missed out!
It would make a lot more sense to piss about with the software at a time like 3am when only drunks, drug addicts and the unemployable are watching TV.
Sky+ is one of the best inventions in the history of entertainment and a brilliant piece of equipment – when it works! I am yet to hear from somebody who has had it over 6 months and not experienced any problems. Sky and the box manufacturers have a lot to answer for in my opinion!
Anyway, I’ll leave you on that angry note with this link – it’s a totally bizarre Flash animation, probably created by somebody with more than a few screws loose. It’s funny because it’s so insane!
12th February 2005 - 20:04 GMT
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Another great performance from Super Leeds United today – they managed to score 3 fabulous against Reading, a team in a very respectable 4th place in the Coca Cola Championship.
The whole team’s performance was marvellous and you would be hard pushed to really fault any individual. The two stand out players were the newly titled H-Bombers, David Healy and new loan signing Rob Hulse.
Leeds are still in 10th place in the league but points wise are even closer to a play off place – something most Leeds fans could have only dreamt about at the start of the season. Relegation is a distant worry; there is absolutely no chance Leeds will be playing in League One next season!
With only one league defeat in 2005, Leeds really do look like a different team from last year. Hopefully this is a turning point in The Mighty White’s future. Leeds travel to high flying Wigan next weekend, should they do the unthinkable and win it’ll be 3 consecutive league wins – an achievement that hasn’t occurred since April 2002.
Now, how would you like some free SMS messages? No this isn’t one of those annoying promotions you get called up about or expect to find in a Sky TV magazine, there are no catches, it is a service being run by a friend of mine on a website called Thumbache.
Simply register with the website and receive 10 free SMS messages a day by logging into the account. There are also other interesting services on the website. Everyone’s seen those polls used on TV show’s like Big Brother where you text EVICT then a contestants name, well you can create your own poll for free – pretty cool huh?
Anyway that's the free plug over with... I went to the cinema yesterday to see Oceans Twelve. Maybe this was a wrong move having not seen the original – I did find certain aspects of the storyline a little confusing.
Regardless of me seeing the original, it wasn’t a great film, I thought the storyline was a little dull and repetitive. Julia Roberts playing Tess Ocean playing Julia Roberts was amusing and Matt Damon made me laugh, simply because it reminded me of his performance in Team America :o)
"Maaatt Daymuuun!"
10th February 2005 - 22:03 GMT
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What a cracking episode of Wife Swap last night on Channel Four. The popular series had gone a little weak over the last series but yesterday’s episode was probably the most entertaining in a long time.
The show typically picks families with opposite lifestyles to encourage confrontation and to make good entertainment.
This week a Welsh, loud mouthed slapper who spent hours a day tarting herself up instead of looking after her young son swapped with a well build, no nonsense house wife and mother.
The tart didn’t get on well with her new family, they were all overweight and didn’t take a great deal of effort in their appearance. They had good personalities and seemed liked nice people. The fiery over tanned woman didn’t see this though and was always shouting out insults such as ‘Fat hillbillies’ and ‘Slobs’.
How can this tart think she looks good with all that fake tan and make up?
The woman of the overweight family didn’t have a nice time with her new husband either who’s first words to her were “You’re a large woman” and “You need a makeover!”
After a lot more amusing antics, it all kicked off at the end when the overweight woman stood up for her family after the orange tanned tart couldn’t keep her mouth shut and ended up being soaked in a glass of water. Hahaha – just desserts
9th February 2005 - 19:53 GMT
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I’m getting very slack and lazy with these blog updates – I’m not losing interest it’s just that I haven’t got round to blogging, if that makes any sense.
I must get out of this lazy streak, I’ve kept up this site up until now and am not prepared to let Sparkster.net join the millions of other non-updated websites in The Internet Graveyard, like this totally random one!
So, Monday night I went bowling with my mum, brother and sister. Not normally the done thing on my part but my sister is off to America tomorrow for a break and my mum thought it would be nice for us all to do something together – you know what parents are like.
We went to Hollywood Bowl, the area was in no way unfamiliar to me as it is right next door to the Showcase Cinemas where I go most weeks. Like The Showcase Cinemas, I found out that Hollywood Bowl sell Ice Blasts. Feeling rather thirsty I went to order one.
The choices were Small for 85p and Regular for £1.25. Strange I thought, no large ones. Maybe the regulars are large and cheaper than the Showcase. Big mistake! Not only are they half the prize but half the size! I really dread to think what the Small 85p ones are!
Due to the size of the Small Ice Blast, its best consumed through a syringe
Now it’s not very often I talk about stories in the news on here, but some article caught my eye yesterday. It is the story of Ellen MacArthur and the record-breaking voyage around the world.
Now hundreds of thousands of people (if not more) have been singing this woman’s praises and in my opinion “Is all this all over the top and just another record?”
The reason I say this is because
1 – This was solely for personal gain, if she had been doing this for charity than great, but she didn’t.
2 – News reports compared this story to attempted achievements many years ago. This woman probably had more technology onboard than Apollo 11 had in 1969! Maybe I’m wrong, but I bet it’s a lot easier and safer nowadays.
3 – Almost every month there’s a new record for something like this, to me this is just another one that’ll be forgotten about by March and maybe shown by Angus Deayton on January 31st on a review of 2005.
I would like to say that what she did was a great PERSONAL achievement, I certainly couldn’t do it myself, but there is billions of people worldwide achieving equally as amazing tasks, surviving in terrible conditions, through awful diseases and disabilities while managing to live normal lives.
For them it isn’t a 71 day task like Ellen had, this is for the rest of their lives! These are the people who should receive praise for achievement.
I’m not criticising the people who admire Ellen MacArthur by any means, I just think it’s a little strange she has received so much recognition.
Not only does she have the technology of an astronaut, but she dresses like one too
Still on the subject of news, I read another story yesterday about a Welsh rugby fan who chopped off his bollocks after his country beat England in The Six Nations on Saturday.
According to reports, before kick off he told his mates in the pub that “If Wales beat England I’ll chop me nuts off!” After Wales won (c’mon it wasn’t hard – England were shite), the crazy Welshman went home, chopped off his manhood and staggered the 200 meters back to his local where he proudly showed off his missing genitalia before collapsing on the pub floor.
The bar maid collected his bollocks and put them in a pint glass full of ice. The man was then taken to hospital where he is said to be in a serious condition.
There are also unconfirmed reports that doctors were unable to find his penis and balls in the pub and believe they may have been mistaken for a bar snack.
This story has been doing the rounds all over the net and according to the fans on WACCOE it is far more interesting than both Ellen MacArthur’s record and the boring England friendly this evening.
6th February 2005 - 22:05 GMT
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No blog entries for yesterday, so quite a bit to cover today…
Firstly Super Leeds United beat Burnley yesterday, a very good result as Burnley have been doing great at home lately. In fact they haven’t conceded a goal in all competitions since playing Spurs in the Carling Cup – this run includes the FA Cup game to Liverpool which they won!
Leeds were the better team, but were still lucky to go away with all three points. Burnley were awarded a penalty late on but Super Neil Sullivan (the Leeds keeper) made the save to secure victory for The Mighty Whites.
Slowly but surly, Leeds are moving up the league
I watched a couple of televised games this afternoon. First up was Southampton against Everton. Southampton are in a real mess and are in a massive fight against relegation. Everton have been doing surprisingly well this season and are hoping to qualify for The Champions League.
After going ahead very early on, Everton shut off while Southampton kept up the pressure. It wasn’t long into the second half when Southampton were deservedly 2-1 up. They could have made it more and were by far the better team. Everton dealt Southampton a bitter blow however by equalising in the dying seconds.
I’ve nothing against Southampton as a team, but as a neutral supporter I would like to see them go down. It will make both The Premiership and The Championship more interesting and it’s always nice to see the teams promoted the previous season stay up.
The next game on Sky was Chelsea against Manchester City. Prior to this game, Chelsea were 8 points clear at the top of the table and were looking to make it 11. Man City are the only team so far to beat Chelsea in the league this season, repeating the same feat looked very unlikely. They didn’t manage to win, but City got a well earned point for the 0-0 draw at full time.
Now, this league winners situation is a difficult one for me. I hate Man Utd and really don’t want to see them win the league. I don’t really like Chelsea as if they win, I will think they have bought it instead of earning it. Ideally I would like to see Arsenal win, but after losing to Man Utd last week that looks very unlikely. Maybe Everton will overtake them all and claim the trophy – Hahahaha!
Still on the topic of sport a quick word on the rugby. A friend came over to watch the England – Wales game with me. I don’t know very much about rugby at all, but I knew England were playing shit and looked a totally different side to the one which won The World Cup back in 2003. It’s still early in the competition, but I can’t see England winning the 6 Nations – sadly.
England's rugby hopes are breaking
Moving on from football and rugby, I was having MAJOR computer problems last night and this morning. It all started when I was watching a film on the PC, outputting to the TV when we had a power cut.
Once the power had been turned back on I booted up the PC. The screen resolution during boot up was all wrong, my friend and I were both a little confused as to what could have caused this.
I entered the BIOS and in a vain attempt to try and solve it turned the motherboard logo on at start up – big mistake. Firstly it didn’t solve the problem and I couldn’t get back into the BIOS to turn the logo off!
According to the onscreen prompts I should press TAB to enter the POST screen where I would then hit DEL to enter the BIOS. In typical computer fashion this didn’t go to plan and I couldn’t get into the damn POST screen.
After many attempts, including switching keyboards, I finally got in and turned the wretched logo off. I then realised what the problem was regarding the resolution. I could have kicked myself. The S-Video cable was still connected to the graphics card and the TV! Unplugging this resumed normal activity. Phew all sorted, or so I thought…
Got up the next morning, booted up the PC. No mouse activity! After much messing about uninstalling and re-installing hardware I found out that the mouse had a bent wire on the PS/2 connector.
Easily fixed and another lesson to learn “Computer problems are not always complicated – always look for the easiest solution first!” Had I followed that lesson this weekend, both problems would have been sorted in a matter of minutes.
I came very close to smashing up my PC!
Last but not least the tale of my works party I went to last night. I arrived soaking wet due to the rain. There were loads of people there, most of them I had never seen before in my life, which was surprising as it was supposed to be for my department!
It wasn’t a bad evening, I took a friend with me to keep me sane and the few work colleagues I did know kept me amused.
I did get a little embarrassed that evening – no I didn’t get drunk or get off with some ugly woman in the toilets. While getting up to leave, I was dragged onto the dance floor by a colleague. Her grip was strong and my attempts to get away were useless. I was left to do a pathetic side step/dance to Red Red Wine by UB40 before running out of the Social Club to the safety of the hospital grounds.
4th February 2005 - 18:16 GMT
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I’ve got a busy weekend coming up…
Firstly I’m out to friends this evening for another regular session of the N64 classic GoldenEye.
Then tomorrow lunchtime Super Leeds United take on Burnley. While I won’t be at the game tomorrow I will be listening on over the Internet on Radio Aire.
After that a friend of mine is coming round to watch some Egg Chasing (rugby) game. Apparently there is some big competition in the rugby world starting tomorrow – The 6 Nations or something. I’ve been told England are playing Wales.
If the Welsh rugby team are anything like the football team they will be full of morons (Craig Bellamy, Robbie Savage!) and be an easy win.
I’ve been assured it’ll be a tough match and interesting. We’ll wait and see on that, I’ve seen more interesting egg and spoon races than rugby games – not much difference between the two in my opinion.
The Six Nations of "Egg Chasing"
Still, good luck to England, win the country something, no other sports teams can! Jenston Button & David Beckham – I’m talking to you, just because you scored a penalty against Argentina it doesn’t mean you can pack it all in!
Finally in the evening I’m off to a work party at a social club in the hospital where I work. I’ve persuaded my rugby friend to go as long as I keep tipping drinks down his throat. Better than being on my own I suppose and if he drinks too much and needs his stomach pumped there’s always A&E around the corner.
I’m sure I’ll be back on tomorrow afternoon following the Leeds game, either moaning like a bitch if they lose or on a high if they win.
C’mon Leeds!
2nd February 2005 - 22:42 GMT
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Tonight I went to the cinema, but not to see The Aviator as planned – I’m not complaining! Instead I went to watch Assault on Precinct 13 starring Laurence Fishburne (from The Matrix), Ja Rule (the gangsta rapper) and numerous other actors.
I thought it was a good action film, traditional of one you may have seen in the late 80’s/early 90’s (Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, etc). It made a change as it has been a good few years since a film in this genre has had a major released.
There was a lot of action and plenty of killings (to keep those lads in The League of Gentlemen happy). The plot was crap and very predictable but you come to expect this from these action movies and don’t really pay for the story line.
"It's got more kill-INGS than Seven, but less kill-INGS than Titanic!"
All in all a good film, glad I went to see it, one I would recommend.
2nd February 2005 - 17:45 GMT
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Some topics that really should have been covered last night but were left out to make room for the Terrorist Spider alert.
Last night I went out with family for my Dads birthday. We ended up going to a restaurant in town, The Walrus and Carpenter (or was it baker, butcher or candle stick maker?).
Anyway, this place came highly rated from my Dad. I was less than impressed. The place was certainly clean, no problems there, but it was small, tatty and the walls were covered in old posters. Now, this may be to some people’s tastes, but not mine.
The menu didn’t satisfy me either; there wasn’t a great deal of choice. I decided to go for an Organic Beef Burger with salad and chips. The salad and chips were lovely but I wasn’t pleased with the burger. Yet again it wasn’t at all bad quality and many people would have loved it. It wasn’t to my taste though. It seemed to be made of mince and was not fully cooked – kind of like a medium steak.
Although it wasn’t a bad quality restaurant, I will not be eating there again.
After the meal I went home to watch the Arsenal – Man United game. What a fantastic match, six goals, one red card, fights and a lot of passion from the players. The game finished 4-2, sadly to Man Utd although as a Leeds fan I still admit that the best team won – even though it hurts to say it!
I’m finally off to watch The Aviator tonight, wish me luck, sitting through a 3 hour Leonardo Di Caprio film, I’ll need it!
1st February 2005 - 23:09 GMT
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My fellow Sparkterians,
Last night I experienced a totally unprovoked and vicious attack from an enemy.
At approximately 2330 hours GMT, Monday 31st January 2005, I was lifting up a T-Shirt from the floor when a medium sized house spider ran from underneath.
This was a surprise attack from the spider and I had to act fast to combat the enemy. With the spider backing away from me and almost certainly ready to attack I raced for my arsenal of spider fighting weapons – a shoe and an aerosol of Raid Insect Spray.
With the spiders second attack immanent I attacked with full force spraying the enemy with the chemicals. This caused the spider to back off into the T-Shirt.
I knew the spider was almost certainly still alive; therefore it could not have been left. I had to remove the T-Shirt and the spider from my room.
Picking the T-Shirt up with my bare hands would be a bad idea. The spider was almost certainly intoxicated by the chemicals and even more dangerous. Had I lifted the T-Shirt it could have easily ran up my arm and attacked me with its own toxin.
I bravely put on some strong and sturdy shoes and kicked the T-Shirt out of the room and down the stairs into the bathroom with a vinyl wooden floor. There with a clothes rail and at arms length I carefully unfolded the T-Shirt hoping to find the enemy. It wasn’t there.
I retraced my steps up the stairs and noticed the spider. It looked dead, but to make sure it didn’t come back to get me and to prevent it from suffering (even my enemies shouldn’t suffer) I finished it off with my shoe.
I was on guard all night. Before bed I searched my room for more enemies – none were found. I also slept with a side light on so a darkness attack could not take place and placed the Raid Insect Spray by my bedside.
This evening, I am now downgrading the “Spider Terror Alert” from RED to ORANGE. I urge all of you in your own homes to be on guard against the enemy.
Just remember – “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
Note: No animals were harmed in the making of this blog entry… apart from one spider which was killed quickly and only because it was him or me.
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