BIG shop

I went to Asda to do the “big shop”. Somehow I ended up spending £91. That may seem a lot of money; but amongst many groceries, I bought a load of new shirts for work, enough washing powder to last me 5 years, various other items of clothing (yes, I know it's George), lots of expensive toiletries, and, best of all, Thatcher’s Gold cider – usually impossible to find in the shops.

The reason Spain won

In summer 2004, my sister went on holiday to Greece. While there, Greece won the European Championship.

She is on holiday in Spain right now.

In 2012, I am buying her a holiday in Cornwall, England :o)

Posh food

My mum won a meal voucher in a raffle for a very posh restaurant in Radstock. The coupon had been sitting on the shelf, gathering dust, for sometime, and it was due to expire at the end of June. This evening, we went along to sample the delights...

The restaurants I normally visit include Frankie and Benny's, Garfunkles and Nandos. This place was VERY different. For one thing, half the items on the menu I had never heard of. I know Quail’s eggs are supposed to be a luxury, but they actually sold quail – the bird that lays the golden egg!

The meal took ages to arrive, and all I had to munch on was a glass of nuts and an orange juice. The only alcohol they sold was vintage wine. I wasn’t expecting Thatcher’s Gold, but a pint of lager or even a Magners would have been nice :o(

The food that finally did arrive was amazingly presented - like Gordon Ramsey had put it together. The chicken meat was some of the best I have ever tasted. If any of my readers actually have chickens, please feed them corn – it makes the breast taste lush. Sadly, it was a case of quality, not quantity, and I was left hungry after my very small, but delicious, portion.

Hitler the ManU fan

This has been done countless times before, but this latest Hitler video is great.

Not a good fraudster

My dad asked me to make a change to his Sky account – (HONESTLY!).
I called them this evening...

First call I got his date of birth wrong - I got the month and year right, but gave the same day as mine (12th) - I wasn't thinking and the Scottish lady scared me. After the first call didn’t go to plan, I called back a second time. This time I got the DOB right, but apparently I don’t sound like a middle aged man (how rude), so, yet again, they refused to help me! How selfish!

Luckily I’m not really committing fraud and can get my dad, the actual account holder, to make the call. It’s just that one of his major hates in this world is dealing with call centres; and as the purpose of the call is for my benefit, and something he doesn’t really understand, he’s not too willing...

Bad pizza

Spain 0-0 Italy (4-2 pens)

Sorry, Mario! I cursed your country and now you’re out.

Looks like I’ll be turning my allegiances to Spain for the rest of the tournament - I could never support the Germans or Turks.

Roger the Cabin Boy

Went to Homebase today. For some strange reason, all the staff were dressed up as pirates. Not the kind who sell dodgy DVDs - the ones who have parrots on their shoulders. Either they were having some fancy dress party, or the store had been hijacked by real pirates.

The 10% off promotion got one little pirate very confused; as I ended up being undercharged (by a massive 30p) and getting some freebies. Not a bad day’s work on the open seas of Green Park.

They say pets look like their owners

Which one is the dog?

Sound familiar?

Croatia get knocked out of Euro 2008 by Turkey - a defeat somewhat controversial and ending in a terrible penalty shootout for the Croats.

This scenario could so easily have happened to... you’ve guessed it, England; missing from this tournament due to, ironically, being knocked out in qualifying by Croatia.

How many times have we seen this before?

It brings a tear to your eye

Awww - Did-ums! You have to shed a tear for poor, little Cristiano Ronaldo.

Sad, upset, devastated... words cannot describe how I feel about Portugal’s defeat tonight. Hang on a minute - I’ve found a word – ‘hilarious’ :o)

Money grabbing bastards

Just checked my bank statement and discovered that Microsoft did indeed take money for the cancelled Xbox Live subscription from my account - just shows how often I check my statements – it came out 2 weeks ago!

I rang good old Microsoft to demand the refund originally promised to me. They apologised and said another 15-30 days. Hmmm... do you ever get the feeling you’ve been fobbed off? Anyway, if the money is not in my bank by 19th July, Bill Gates, or whoever is in charge then, will be having a legal threat in the post (just to add to the pile).

Is this Micro$oft getting their own back for those dodgy copies of Windows 98 and Office 97 that I installed many years ago?

Absolute madness

It’s not very often I blog about news stories, especially political ones, but there has been something this week which really annoyed me... the treatment of Osama Bin Laden’s mate, Abu Qatada.

As I understand, this Abu dude originally entered the UK illegally, but was granted asylum and allowed to stay. He was later jailed on terrorism charges after plotting to kill his host civilians – the British public. Cheers mate!

He was chucked in prison. This week, however, the evil scummer has been released early. Has Abu been sent back to his home country? No. His life might be in danger if sent back. Never mind - he’s safe here in the UK. The only people in danger is EVERYBODY else!

Knowing this man is a threat, he has been tagged and stuck in a house for 22 hours a day. Presumably this man is unemployed. Therefore who is paying for his house, food, bills and 24-hour surveillance? You, me and all the other bloody mugs who pay taxes.

The equivalent of what happened is this...
Tramp breaks into your house. You take pity on tramp and let him stay. Tramp tries to kill your wife and kids. You lock tramp in the spare room (with food, light and water). You feel sorry for tramp. You buy your neighbours house and give it to tramp. Tramp now has more money than you and a bigger house. Tramp still thinks of killing your kids and raping your wife.

This country is apparently in a financial crisis. Why oh why then is money wasted on keeping teorrists safe? I would have sent him back to wherever he came from years ago. OK, there is a chance he may get killed, but after what he has done, should we really care?

Rotten onions

Not happy tonight. I tried to save money and be healthy by cooking my own tea from raw, fresh ingredients – pasta and tomato sauce (OK, the tomatoes were in a tin).

With my Gordon Ramsey cooks head on, I started cutting into an onion, only to find out it’s insides had gone all soft and mouldy – very annoying - especially as I had only bought it two days ago.

As it was the only onion in the cupboard, I had to find something else for tea instead :o(

Pizza eating champions

Congratulations to Italy! The team I have backed throughout the whole tournament and not doubted for one moment (honestly!). Italia may be comprised old men, and resemble an retirement home, but they’re World Champions and, most importantly, better than the French – Hahahahahaha!

Italy now progress to the next round where they'll play my girlfriend, Claire's, team - Spain. Bring 'em on! Who the f**k is Torres? etc, etc, etc...

Good old Beeb

Following a comment on my blog about a confusing FiveLive jingle, I decided to e-mail the BBC to find out more...

Hello,

Could you please explain the meaning behind the new radio jingle "at home and now in car"

As far as I was aware, assuming your car has an AM or DAB radio, FiveLive has always been available 'in car', just as it has at home.

Is there something I am missing?

Many thanks,

Yesterday, I received the reply

Dear Sean

There are now two ways to listen to DAB digital radio in your car.
The first is to fit a DAB radio where your existing Radio /CD player is.

The second is an add-on that is powered from the in-car power socket.
The Radio is attached to your windscreen (like a Sat Nav) and recieves
DAB stations then transmits them to your car radio on an FM frequency.

Best wishes

5 live

Besides spelling ‘receives’ incorrectly, the BBC also failed to answer my question, which was WHAT IS THE POINT IN THE NEW JINGLE? Oh well...

You get what you pay for

Last night, a friend of mine made use of the free joke service from 118 118 (you basically text the word "JOKE" to 118118).

This is what got sent to his mobile:
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Needless to say, I found this joke so funny that I laughed myself into an incontinent state; soaking my jeans with urine. I hope after reading the joke, you haven't done the same.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I went to the cinema last night to watch it. Compared to the original movies, I was disappointed; but in comparison to other action/adventure films, it is very good.

• Harrison Ford hasn’t aged well and it didn’t look right seeing him as a frail old man
• Whenever Ray Winstone was on, I kept thinking of the movie Sexy Beast
• Every time I saw Jim Broadbent, I thought of the corrupt policeman from Hot Fuzz

Things I learnt from the movie...

• Insects, snakes, and mad natives make good Indy plots. Aliens do not
• Harrison Ford proves that despite owning an OAP bus pass and colostomy bag, you can still run around and jump about (albeit with a medical team and oxygen to hand)
• If you see an atomic bomb falling from the sky, hide in a fridge and you’ll be fine. Pity the people of Hiroshima didn’t know that
• If you ever find yourself surrounded by monkeys, pretend to be one, they’ll befriend you, and even attack your enemy
• Under NO circumstances should you step into a field where ants build their nests

Indianger Jones

Lego Indiana Jones is great fun. So far I have completed Raiders of the Lost Ark and have almost finished Temple of Doom. That leaves just Last Crusade to do; but like GTA4, there are many extras to return to once the story mode is complete.

The game is surprisingly tricky, and a lot of the puzzles left me thinking. I even had to refer to this guide once or twice. One particular end-of-level boss on Temple of Doom caused me massive anger, which resulted in a glass of drink being spilt all over the carpet and underneath the DVD player. No long term damage appears to have been done, apart from to my sanity.

Heat wave

It’s only early June, but the weather is too hot. After leaving the office this afternoon, it felt as if I had walked out into the Sahara Desert. It is nearly midnight - the windows are wide open, I am wearing my ultra-thin Barcelona FC kit, yet still I am boiling hot. Can we please have a crap, wet summer like last year?

The wonders of modern technology

Has anyone else heard the new BBC Radio FiveLive jingle? “At home and now in car” As far as I was aware, assuming you had the correct technology – i.e. an AM or DAB radio, you were ALWAYS able to access FiveLive in whatever vehicle you chose to drive.

What’s the Italian for “sorry”?

I feel the need to apologise... Pavarotti, the Super Mario Bros, Robert DeNiro, the staff in my local pizza takeaway... I am sorry.

Sorry I chose to support your country, and pass the same curse I put upon England and Leeds United upon your country, causing you to lose 3-0 to Holland tonight.

Will I carry on supporting you during Euro 2008? Unfortunately for you - yes. Once again – I’m very, very sorry.

Lego Indiana Jones

I got a little annoyed with it at first, but after mastering the controls and other aspects of the game, I have found it to be lots and lots of fun. Slightly less violent than Grand Theft Auto 4 though.

Staying home this summer

Euro 2008 begins today. I should be joining millions of other English football fans in anticipating England’s participation, and guessing which team would knock them out on penalties in the quarter finals (again). Alas, as we all know, England won’t even be going out in a shoot-out, thanks mainly to Steve McClaren. Bastard.

So, what team should I go for? If I’m going to support another country, I may as well back one which has half a chance of winning – after all, I’m NEVER going to see international success with England.

For obvious reason, I won’t be supporting France or Germany. In fact, I will be cheering on whoever plays them! I still have bitter memories of Portugal, so hope they lose too (if only to see poor Ronaldo sobbing like a baby). Czech Republic are tempting, as are Spain; but I’m going for Italy.

One of my best holidays I had as a child was in Italy. I also like eating pizza and pasta; and played a lot of Super Mario games on the SNES - more than enough reasons to become an Italian for a few weeks!

So... Forza Italia!

Freak show

That’s the last time I watch Big Brother this 2008. Let’s hope the yanks test some nuclear weapons close to the house.

Wireless less

The wireless function on my laptop appears to have died. Either the onboard wireless adaptor is broken, or Windows Vista is being a bugger. As my USB dongle is also refusing to work, I think the latter may be the cause. Time for a reinstall...

Who ya gonna call?

This game looks so cool. Hopefully I will have finished Lego Indiana Jones in time for the July release date.

My next challenge

Now that GTA4 has been completed, the next game on my “wish list” is Lego Indiana Jones. It’s out this Friday and my copy is pre-ordered. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t experience the same availability problems I had with Grand Theft Auto.

Grrr...

Can’t update my blog!

In Da Club

I have now fully completed GTA4 and, according to Rockstar, am an elite member of the 100% Club.

Shame it took me almost 5 weeks to do it. Had I achieved this in the first week, I would have been sent a real key to the city in the post.