GTA4 = done

I have FINALLY completed GTA4. I can now have my life back, after dedicating most of it to the game over the past two weeks.

Even though I have completed every mission, I have only done 67.08% of the tasks. It is now time to shoot pigeons, steal secret cars and become a hitman...

My GTA4 stats:

• Missions passed: 94
• People killed: 637
• Cars stolen: 134
• Bikes stolen: 1
• Boats stolen: 8
• Helicopters stolen: 1
• People run down: 188
• Fires started: 124
• Criminals killed: 52
• Bullets fired: 14707
• Kills by headshot: 191
• Vehicles blown up: 91
• Cars exploded: 82
• Bikes exploded: 3
• Boats exploded: 2
• Helicopters exploded: 4

Going up?

With the end of the football season comes relived wives and girlfriends, cancelled Sky Sports subscriptions, and men stuck for things to do, counting down the days to August.

The season isn’t quite over yet; there is still a little matter of the Champions League & UEFA Cup finals and, more importantly, football league play offs to be dealt with. Technically there is also Euro 2008, but as England decided they would rather take a summer holiday this June than play football, I won’t mention the competition.

Yes, the Play Offs. I remember those from two years back. Leeds got to the final. I went to watch them. Leeds fucked up, losing 3-0. A year later they went down. Leeds are in the play offs again. Unlike last time, I won’t be going to see then (purely down to financial restrictions), so will be watching on TV.

Next week, Leeds play Carlisle across two legs, battling for a place in the final. I will also be keeping a look out to see how Bristol City get on against Crystal Palace. Hopefully Leeds and Brizzle will both go up... I doubt it somehow.

Did I buy the wrong drink?

I’ve just got back from the local newsagents. Yes, it’s a stupidly early time to be up on a Saturday, but my bedroom was too hot and there was no way I could sleep in it - besides which, GTA4 needs playing.

While waiting to buy milk, I was intrigued by a conversation between the shopkeeper and some customer, who was going through the drinks shelf, comparing the prices and strengths of the cheapest, strongest, most disgusting beverages you could buy. I think he eventually decided on Diamond White (a cider officially endorsed by The Tramp Society)

To drink that foul liquid in the evening is bad enough, but at 8.30 in the morning! He may have been well dressed and didn’t look homeless, but can now officially be branded “Super Bum”.

Maybe he was in the right, though. Maybe I was in the wrong for buying milk for my coffee. Diamond White and Nescafé - the future?

You know you have played too much GTA when…

You find yourself walking to work, realise you're running late, and contemplate nicking a car to get there faster.

All gamed out

I have spent most of my Bank Holiday Monday playing GTA4, and managed to get another 15% done.

Missions today included

• Working for a corrupt police officer
• Annoying some cocaine dealers
• Dating a homosexual
• Having a job interview and shooting the interviewer (needless to say, I didn’t get the job)
• Rescuing Niko’s cousin, Roman, from a madman
• Moving into a brand new safe house
• and finding out Michelle isn’t who she says she is...

Where's my pub gone?

This evening I paid a visit to the newly refurbished pub, The Weston. I have fond memories of this pub – playing pool, watching football on the dodgy projector, staying behind after closing time and drinking endless pints of Stella (something I now regret!)

After visiting this evening, I am bitterly disappointed in the pubs new look. Gone is the friendly resident pet dog, the pool tables are no more, and the screens and televisions have been torn from the wall. The pub lacks any spirit or local feel. Without wanting to sound like a TV advert for a high street bank, my pub is now “a trendy wine bar!”

The only good thing about the place is that they sell Weston’s cider – one of the best West Country ciders you can buy, and a rarity in pubs. Other than that, I have nothing positive to report. It is overpriced, overdressed, far too posh, and lacks any charm.

If I was the bar manager, I would worry. Tonight is the night before Bank Holiday Monday. The place was virtually deserted. If customers cannot be attracted on a night like this, they will never come. The Weston is not a pub, it is a wine bar, and is not suitable for it’s out of town location.

Bring back the traditional pub!

Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio

A wise man once said “Keep your nose out of another man’s business”. Obviously Gillingham FC’s chairman, Paul Scally, never met this wise man, and sadly for him never learnt that lesson. In the summer, he made an outlandish attack on Leeds United and owner, Ken Bates.

How fitting it was today then, that on the final day of the League One season, Scally’s Gillingham paid a visit to Elland Road, requiring a win to avoid relegation.

Scally was owed a relegation. A relegation he was given. Enjoy League Two - tosser.

Oh crapsticks

The PS3, or rather GTA4, has decided to stop working. Having copied my save files to a memory stick, I am now in the process of re-installing the whole game. I pray to God this fixes it. If not, I’ll be on the phone to Sony in the morning...

UPDATE: It sounds like a lot of people are suffering from the same problem, in that the game fails to load. The game manufacturers, Rockstar, know about this and are looking into a fix. *sigh*

UPDATE #2: Fixed it. Well kind of. The freezing at startup is a known issue. The solution - sign out of PSN... Get this bug sorted, Rockstar! :o(

No more football

The football season is over :o(

My final game of the season saw Team Bath beat Halesowen Town 2-1 in the Southern Premier Division Play Off Final.

Since the start of the season, I have...

• Been to 72 games
• 62 for Bath City
• 3 for Leeds United
• 1 for England
• 6 for other teams

• Travelled over 6,700 miles (round trips) - about the same distance as from London to New York and back.
  

• Seen 187 goals

• and visited 32 different grounds.

Still playing

I haven’t blogged about Grand Theft Auto since buying it last Monday. This isn’t from lack of playing - far from it. Apart from working, football and seeing my girlfriend, I’ve been playing virtually non-stop. For the purpose of staying alive, I have required toilet, food and sleep breaks; but these have been kept to a minimum.

Is it as good as I expected? Absolutely. The game is huge. The visuals – amazing. The gameplay – outstanding. It is everything I could have hoped for. I am about 20% of the way through the game, having completed almost 30 missions, and already the storyline has moved on so much from the start of play.

I have met new allies and killed old ones who turn out to be enemies. I have stolen more vehicles than you would find at CarCraft, and committed more murders than Fred West and his mad wife.

I haven’t even tried to play online yet; but as I work my way through the missions, I know at the back of my mind that when I finally do achieve 100%, I will have great fun playing other gamers from all over the world.

Believe the hype. GTA4 is truly amazing.

Peep Show

It was great to see Peep Show back on TV last night!

I loved the scene when Mark finds out he has been burgled, and despite losing all his possessions, is more concerned about the stolen memory card containing a Medal of Honour save game. The whole farce when he finally catches the burglar is simply cringe worthy, and Peep Show at its best.

Jeremy is back on form. His whole negative attitude towards sitting through a boring play at the theatre, and wishing he was at home watching Heat on DVD (which would have been considerably cheaper) was hilarious.

Was great to see Big Suze back too; although her idea of burning their imprisoned burglar with cigarettes was a little freaky... freaky in a funny kind of way!