Clash of the titans

Tomorrow night sees two of football’s biggest rivals come head to head in a massive derby. I am not talking about the battle of Merseyside; nor am I referring to the Manchester Derby. Arsenal and Spurs have played each other about 100 times already this season, so it’s not them either. No, the match I speak of is the battle of the West Country - Yeovil Town v Bath City.

For many years, City and Yeovil would fight it in the football conference, with the chant “Going down to Yeovil to do the bastards over” an all too familiar chant on the Twerton Park terraces.

Things have changed a little since those days, however, Yeovil now find themselves in the football league, playing the likes of Leeds United and Nottingham Forest, while City are still in non-league. The sides will meet tomorrow in the Somerset Cup at Yeovil’s ground, Huish Park.

Many don’t rate the Somerset Cup and see it as an annoyance, getting in the way of league fixtures. Tomorrow night’s game, however, is a matter of pride (even if it is against Yeovil reserves!). More importantly, there is a huge reward for the winners – a place in the final against either Taunton Town or Paulton Rovers. The prize for winning the final – a gold plated pitchfork, 76 pence, and a bottle of scrumpy.

With all this in mind, it is no wonder UEFA have decided to allow Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United and Roma to play their Champions League games the following night. Had their games clashed with the City/Yeovil game, the European grounds would be deserted due to all the football fans travelling to Somerset.

There’s always next year

An 8-hour round trip to Essex, getting soaked in a monsoon, watching Bath City lose 2-0 and realising that the play offs may not be happening this season. Not a great day out to Braintree.

Oh well - at least I didn't get shot with a crossbow.

Places of interest

I’ve been off work on annual leave all week, so decided to go to town on Thursday night – a rarity for me, as my watering holes normally consist of the local down the road, football clubhouses and countryside pubs.

It was a case of visiting some places old and some new. I met Jon who I hadn’t seen in ages and went to an old favourite of mine, The Bell. It was a nice spring day and not too cold so we were able to enjoy a pint outside.

We then went to one of the best curry houses in Bath – Jaflong. It’s been a long time since I have been to this restaurant (too long), and I had forgotten how good it was. While they do offer take away meals, they don’t deliver – a pity; as if they did offer such as service, it would probably be my primary diet (until I died of a curry induced heart attack)

After curry, we made our way back to my flat, stopping at a new pub for me – The Royal Oak on the Lower Bristol Road. The Royal Oak is a real ales pub. The only ale I have really tried is Courage Best and Gem, as they sell it in the Bath City club house (locally branded as “The City Ale”). This pub was so non-commercial that they didn’t even stock Gem! I was given something very similar (which I can’t remember the name of), but did enjoy.

It was then time to go home. At the time of leaving my flat, it was a warm evening, so I only wore my light denim jacket. When I left the pub, it was a freezing cold night, so I ended up walking home very slowly, shivering all the way back.

This evening has been a quite night in. I’m off to Essex tomorrow to watch Bath City play Braintree. This is one of the longest trips of the season, and involves me leaving my flat shortly after 9am – I don’t expect to be home much before 10pm that night. Time for bed...

Just 31 days to go...

Getting very excited now!

Only in Essex

Some rather worrying news ahead of my trip with Bath City to Braintree tomorrow...

I think it would be wise to wear body armour instead of football shirts and take an axe instead of a scarf.

At least if City play badly, we can put the players in the stocks and throw rotten food at them.

AN Essex football club is helping police investigate an incident in its stadium car park which saw a man shot with a crossbow.

Braintree Town Football Club has been co-operating with detectives who are looking into the circumstances surrounding an assault in the town in which a man was hit with a bolt.

Police were contacted shortly before 10pm on Tuesday night by a member of the public who said a man had been shot in the club's car park.

Officers arrived to find the injured man with a bolt in the side of his torso.

The 25-year-old man from Ware, in Hertfordshire, was conveyed to Chelmsford's Broomfield Hospital where he underwent surgery to remove the bolt.

He is currently in a stable condition.

An Essex Police spokesman said: “We're keen to speak with anyone who saw any suspicious activity in the football club's car park between 7pm and 10pm on Tuesday night.”

Investigating officers believe the assailant drove off in a dark-coloured Audi. At this stage, there are no further details about those in the car.

Anyone with information in connection with this attack is urged to contact detectives at Braintree police station on 0300 333 4444 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555111.

Source [http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/...]

The joy of camera phones

While looking on YouTube, I found the latest trailer for the new X-Files movie.

Why on earth Scottish “comedian” Billy Connolly and gangster rapper Xzibit were cast, is an X-File in itself!

Is he on drugs?

I see that Fabio Capello has made his first mistake as England manager in giving Rio Ferdinand the honour of captaining his country against France. Unless you are looking for someone to organise a party which involves binge drinking, drug taking and allegations of rape, Ferdinand is not the man to be in charge! Obviously Cabbageman Capello was smoking Rio’s crack pipe when he made the decision.

Spider Watch

I have just found not one, but two spiders on the wall of my bedroom. I have sprayed them with some “spider killer” and they have run off under the furniture – hopefully to die.

I‘ll be honest – I am rather scared. There may be more hiding in my flat – possibly a nest.

Leeds 2-0 Walsall

• Great result. Super, Super Leeds! Super, Super Leeds! etc...
• Terrible performance. Neither side appeared to know how to play football!
• Freezing cold. I think I may have lost a couple of toes to frost bite.
• After watching so many non-league games, having to remain seated during a football match does not feel right.
• £28 a ticket for League One football. For that price, I expect to be fed prawn sandwiches and Pimms.
• Walsall have some weird fans. I am unsure as to whether or not they are inbred.
• Referee, Andy D'Urso, is totally inept and appears to hate Leeds United. I don’t like him.

Leeds

I have now arrived in Leeds. It is snowing and cold. Football at 5.20.

Bigger than God?

Funny – I thought tomorrow was supposed to be Easter Sunday. Obviously $ky have bought the rights to Christianity now, and are renaming religious festivals.

What WE did to you...

Peep Show's David Mitchell and Robert Webb sum up football fans perfectly HERE. A gem for those who both love and hate the sport...

Off to Leeds

Tomorrow morning, I will be making the long trip up north to Yorkshire. As City are having a rare Saturday off, I have decided to go and watch a Leeds United game. Although I have watched United away at Cheltenham this season, it has been a long time since I have visited Elland Road - I am quite looking forward to the match against Walsall.

Hopefully it’ll be 3 points for The Whites (I have NEVER seen them lose at home) and will give me some consolation after a disappointing result for Bath City.

I am staying overnight in Yorkshire and hope to be able to blog from my lodgings. Therefore, if no blog appears, assume I have been killed by some northern monkey.

Now I must go - I have to pack supplies for my trip. From past experience, I have learnt the North is a different place to that of the South, and is very limited in it's availability of pasties and cider. I must stock up on vital provisions.

Havant a chance

Today was my 50th consecutive Bath City game (home and away, all competitions, not counting friendlies). I was hoping that the personal anniversary would be rewarded with a win for the Romans. Alas, it wasn’t to be

City were playing Havant and Waterlooville (yes, the team that played Liverpool in the FA Cup). City scored first after Havant’s goalkeeper decided to go walkies outside of his box. When City get the first goal, they always win (or so has been the rule all season). Unfortunately things were different today.

Havant got an equaliser from a very impressive strike - the kind of goal you don’t really mind conceding, simply due to the shear class of it. That one shot was the only moment of quality shown by Havant, who, for the remainder of the game, dived, fouled and moaned to the referee. They even managed to get City’s Lewis Hogg unfairly sent off. Scumbags.

For shame. I think they picked up some nasty habits on their visit to Anfield.

One final note. Bath City drew with Havant 1-1. Liverpool beat Havant 5-2. Does that mean City have a better defence than Liverpool? :o)

Scusi, dov'è la toilette?

This evening I went to the restaurant, Frankie and Benny's. Besides a good meal, I was intrigued by something I found in the toilet... While standing at the urinal, the sound of urine hitting porcelain was drowned out by an Italian lesson being played through the speakers.

I suppose that if you were to spend long enough in the toilet, you may have actually learnt some Italian. Then again, if you did have to spend hours in a restaurant bathroom, you have more concerning problems than that of learning a foreign language.

Pizza again

For the third time running, the local bakers sold out of pasties. I had to make do with pizza. I tell a lie, they were selling 'Jamaican Pasties', but they sounded strange and were probably filled with rice, peas and curried goat… I didn't fancy that.

Clock watching

Today is going to drag. I'm working until 5, before having an extended 10 day break for Easter. Woo hoo!

The case of the missing DVD

This evening I had the annoyance no doubt experienced by every owner of a large DVD or CD collection. You open the case, only to find the disc missing; and despite checking the box of every title in your collection, the disc cannot be found.

The missing disc in this instance was DVD #3 of South Park Season 4. It hadn’t been misplaced in any of my other 300 DVD boxes (I checked!) and I no longer own CDs, so it hasn’t wound up in there. It is a mystery.

As this particular title is rather important to me, I have had to re-buy it from Play.com. If in the next couple of days, it turns up behind the sofa or under the bed, I will not be amused!

Lundun

Yesterday was interesting... I got the coach to London to watch Bath City play the strangely named Fisher Athletic.

On the way, the coach seemed to take a wrong turn and we ended up driving through the streets of London, admiring the weird shops and locals. All very well and fun, but with the clock ticking away, my fellow City fans and I were getting rather worried about missing the kick off.

We arrived at the ground with a mere 10 minutes to spare – not even enough time for a pre-match pint. The stadium was sat between a massive Tesco and a fully functional car wash business. I found myself standing in pools of soapy water while queuing to get through the turnstile.

The game was a bit shit. City lost 2-1. It rained. Fisher’s keeper broke his arm and rolled around the floor, screaming. The ground smelt of the sea (convenient as City were playing a team called Fisher).

The way home was looong. Wanting to avoid the delays from the inward journey, the driver took a different route. We ended up in the Fulham/Chelsea area of London, driving alongside some very posh looking houses and the River Thames. I am sure it was very close to where my friend Dan lives (probably renting a box room for some ludicrous fee), but I wasn’t planning on jumping off the coach to try and find him.

Still, for less than £25, I got to watch 90 minutes of football, a return trip to London, have my shoes cleaned (by the carwash) and receive a tour of Chelsea.

Not dead

Despite not blogging in over a week, I would like to reassure everyone that I am not dead and will blog again soon.

Football criminals

I would like to issue my disgust towards Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp. How dare he allow his team to beat Manchester United in the FA Cup! Totally disgusting!

Even more sickening is the referee, Martin Atkinson, who gave Portsmouth a penalty at Old Trafford. Hasn’t Mr. Atkinson read the rule book? I think everyone should write to the FA, demanding justice for United.

United must be reinstated in the FA Cup at the expense of Portsmouth. As for Atkinson, he should be relegated to the Toolstation league and referee Shepton Mallet! Disgusting, shameful behaviour!!!

P.S. Play up Pompey, Pompey play up!

Save the whale

Am I the only one who gets annoyed by those “Please consider the environment” messages people stick at the bottom of their e-mails?

I’ve made a new signature of my own.

A Song for Ireland

I see Ireland are entering a turkey for the Eurovision Song Contest. This reminded me of a classic Father Ted episode...

The obligatory video


A very nice video done by some Father Ted fans outside the Parochial House

And a laughter-free remixed track done by Divine Comedy

A win-win situation?

You may or may not remember Leeds United were docked 15 points in the summer for no apparent reason. Well everyone’s favourite elderly crook, Ken Bates, has been whinging and bitching since the penalty, trying to get the points back. The whole saga seems to be coming to a close and will be resolved by April, following an arbitration.

Skybet are already taking bets on the outcome...
6-10 Points 13/8
11-15 Points 7/4
1-5 Points 11/4
0 Points 11/2

I’m not normally a betting man, but I put some cash on “0 points” at 11/2. If Leeds are given some points, I’ll be happy; if Leeds are given 0 points, my Bath City 2008/9 Season Fund will receive a healthy cash injection.

Curtains

My curtain broke down this evening. It was obviously too heavy for the wall, and it all came tumbling down. I must now survive without them until my letting agency can be arsed to come out and fix it...

Shepton Mallet

Why is Shepton Mallet’s football ground so hard to find? After driving around Shepton with my dad for half an hour, asking confused locals where Somerset’s premier stadium was, I was none the wiser of its location. All I wanted to do was watch Bath City in the Somerset Cup quarter final!

We eventually found the ground - in the middle of a farmer’s field, just up the road from a cider brewery. All we need was to pass The Wurzels recording studio and a combine harvester factory, and we would be in a real stereotypical West Country.

We arrived half an hour late. Bath were winning 1-0. That would be the only goal of the evening. I spent the remainder of the night watching from a rickety metal barrier in a freezing cold, poorly lit tin-hut of a ground.

When the referee finally blew for full time, there were absolutely no celebrations. Amazing considering City were in a semi-final of a cup competition. It wouldn’t be unfair to say that the Somerset Premier Cup is generally not seen in the same light as the Champions League.

Still, City got their prize for winning the quarter final – 76p and a pair of pitchforks.

Sky Sports News

My semi-legal TV package has started showing Sky Sports News. I have found myself staying up later than I planned watching the loop of sport news feeds over and over again – just like the “good” old days when I was in my shared flat.

Sky Sports News – a great way to while away the day, achieve nothing and find out very little... still a great TV channel.

Excrement

Excrement. Used to describe the performance from the Bath City players today in their 3-0 defeat to Hayes & Yeading. No heart, no passion, no points.

Excrement. Also used to describe the location - Hayes, Middlesex. I explored the place with three other City fans. Not a very nice place to visit. We're just peaceful folk from the West Country, and I felt a little scared when I found myself in the UK's answer to The Bronx.

Below are some photos of excrement. No photos from the game as no football was played (by Bath City, anyway)

The grafitti really gives off that sense of "pride"

and again...

The car park was put to excellent use

What a lovely location!

What type of animal is a MAKKAH HALAL and what does it's meat taste of?

The pub/clubhouse beer garden. Families welcome...

English is obviously not the first language in Hayes.
I spotted this sign on TWO seperate fruit machines

The Bath City players certanly got the message

Plagiarism...

Hmmm...