My Busy Day

I tried to get up at 6am this morning to make that planned early start at work - it was impossible! It was an effort in itself putting the alarm clock on my mobile phone forward an hour to 7.15am, let alone getting up at that ungodly hour. 6am is exclusively reserved for shepherds, fishermen and night clubbers returning home from a night out.

When I finally did arise, I looked in the mirror, only to find two massive scratches on the side of my face. How the hell that happened, I do not know. I must have done it by accident in my sleep; either that or Freddy Kruger is real and attacked me in my slumber!

After patching up my wounds, I managed to find my way to work, still earlier than normal, and managed to get some overtime in. Along with working to 6pm this evening, I have accredited 2 hours of extra income today. Hopefully I’ll have the stamina to do the same tomorrow.

Finally some good news - my fatigue and morale was lifted when I attended my management course. I received feedback on that coursework I had been working on last week (or “management-course-assignment-bollocks” as I once referred to it). The lecturer was very impressed. I was very pleased, especially as I was expecting a list of changes that had to be made in order to fulfil the requirements. As of today, my assignment is now ready to hand in. Bath College had better get my certificate ready; and a message to Mr. Barwick and his cronies at The FA – if you want a decent England manager (with qualifications), come and get me!

An Early Start?

My office is offering a rare opportunity to earn some extra pennies through working overtime these next two weeks.

After the recent expenses of Christmas shopping, a visit to the dentist today and other annoyances, I have been left a little out of pocket. I have decided to work until 6pm, every night while the overtime is available, but am a little stuck on when to start work.

I normally stagger in at 8:59am (for an “official” 9am start), but am tempted to come in for 8 or even 7am. Coming in so early would mean getting out of bed as early as 6am. I’m a young, 9-5 office worker; I don’t even know there is a 6am! Still money is required. It will be interesting what time I wander into work tomorrow morning...

No Longer A Firestarter

This afternoon at work, I did fire training. Not on how to start fires (that’s next week), it was some less fun subject of “putting them out”.

As well as being shown the fire exits and alarms in my office block, we were allowed to test some fire extinguishers. Unfortunately we were not allowed to try them out on a real fire, but instead used an old chair as a target. Who would have thought spraying an everyday object with water and CO2 could be so much fun?

This newfound knowledge may come in useful for home. My letting agency has still not fixed the alarm, so if there's a fire, I'm screwed. Good thing I know how to use a fire extinguisher, now I can go round to their offices and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

"2-0, And You F**ked It Up!"

Bath City did tonight what England failed to do last week - come back from 2-0 down to draw 2-2, and hold out for a result. OK, this comparison may be a tad unfair – their opponents, Hayes & Yeading, are far inferior to Croatia, and some may argue Bath City are better than England - it’s not comparing like with like!

I was on the cameraman duties again, and due to a late delivery of the equipment had to run from one side of the football ground to the other, holding a rather large and heavy camera. The filming of the game went OK, although I totally forgot how to adjust the spirit level on the tripod; so if you buy the DVD, you may have to tip your head sideways in order to get a good perspective.

Standing with the Enemy

This afternoon I went to Cheltenham Town Football Club. Had I been going a few years ago, I would probably have been watching Bath City play; instead, as things are nowadays, I was sadly watching Leeds United.

Whaddon Park, Cheltenham’s ground, is very small, so I wasn’t able to get tickets in the away end. Instead I bravely entered the lions den and stood alongside the home supporters. They quickly realised I was a Leeds fan, and I quickly realised that I wasn’t the only one. I would say 40% of the ground was full of Leeds supporters from up and down the country.

The Cheltenham fans I met were very commendable and a credit to their club. We had some friendly banter and discussed both Leeds and Bath City, both of which they were very complimentary about.

Anyway, back to the game (something I have been trying to avoid). Despite totally dominating the game, Leeds lost 1-0 to a late Cheltenham goal. Gutting. Still, I will disagree with anyone who says Cheltenham didn’t deserve their win. They had their chance, and they took it; unlike Leeds.

I still believe that Leeds will win the league - it is just a shame I wasn’t there to see them score a goal or win a match.

Here’s some pictures from the game.

As the sign says


A rather bizarre mascot which sat ontop of one of the huts


The old bill realise there may be Leeds fans in the home end, and immediately predict trouble... there wasn't any


Dennis Wise. I cannot see his face, but I am sure his eyes are wobbling


Spot the ball

The Ghost and the Darkness

This evening (after the earlier fire alarm troubles) I went to my DVD cupboard and dug out The Ghost and the Darkness - an excellent film, which I haven’t watched properly for almost 10 years.

For those who haven’t seen the movie, it is basically about two lions who decide they prefer the taste of human meat to zebra, and start feasting upon a group of locals who have been employed to build a railway. Val Kilmer, an Irishman (yes, he's very Celtic) is leading the build, but has to take his attentions away from the construction in order to shoot the pussy-cats; with some predictably bloody results.

Amazingly the film is based on a true story, where hundreds poor Kenyan workers were attacked by a pair of lions in the late 1800’s. The exact reason for the real attacks is unknown, but it is believed to be linked to the beasts developing a taste for human meat, due to consuming poorly buried bodies of dead rail-workers. There is also some evidence to suggest the pair of rogue lions had weak teeth, and were unable to hunt wild animals, so went for the easier option of humans.

The whole story fascinates me (mainly because I like blog and gore). The bodies of the lions can be seen at The Field Museum in Chicago. Here’s a few photos of them I found.

Keep the Heads Ringing

Oh my God! The last two hours have been hell! The fire alarm system in my flat developed a fault, causing a siren which sounded like it was the end of the world, to be emitted throughout the whole block of flats.

I reset the system, only for it to start wailing again moments later. After much swearing, praying and crying, I gave up and called my landlord. No answer. I called the local fire department. No answer. I called another fire department. They answered. I was relived that they actually gave a damn, and even questioned why I didn’t dial 999. I explained it wasn’t an emergency and I didn’t want to waste their time, but they said it would have been OK (interesting to know – next time I see a spider in my flat, I know who to call).

Shortly after making the call, a fire engine pulled up outside, equipped with flashing blue lights. In stormed five burley fire officers – if I was gay I would have loved it. They were just as confused as I was about the problem, and despite ripping apart a fire sensor in the bedroom, were unable to fix the fault. One of the officers did make me laugh when he suggested I visit the “hottie upstairs” who was throwing an all-female party. I must admit, I was extremely tempted.

After further ringing and texting, my landlord eventually answered, and after more swearing, praying and crying, she came round and disabled the alarm. My neighbour questioned the legality of deactivating such a system, but was told that they are not obliged to provide a fire alarm service – something I somewhat disagree with. Anyway, all is now silent (despite a constant ringing in my ears). The alarm won’t be fixed until Monday, so if you are an arsonist, please don’t burn my flat until next week. Thank you.

Quiz Night

Tonight was a quiz night at Twerton Park. I joined a group of Bath City-going regulars to form a deadly alliance in knowledge.

The questions ranged from “Who was Christmas No.1 in 2006?” to “What does the chemical symbol ‘AS’ represent?”. My team of five actually got those two questions right, however finished something like 6 out of 10 in the overall rankings. Still, we probably had the lowest combined age as a team (with me being the youngest), so if it is true that ‘age = knowledge’, we were at somewhat of a disadvantage.

Along with the quiz, there was a raffle, where I won a crossword jigsaw (basically a quiz page of The Sun newspaper which had been put in the food blender) and a bottle of wine. I don’t normally drink the stuff, but my friend Simon who is a wine connoisseur (or wino) informs me that Liebfraumilch is a rather good brand; although going by what was said at the quiz and a quick search on Wikipedia, it sounds like piss.

European Draw

Just because England are not in the European Championship next summer, it doesn’t mean I can’t support a team competing. Therefore, I have made a draw on which team I will support. Here’s how it happened...

Firstly, write the names of every competing team on pieces of paper


Screw these pieces of paper into tiny balls


Ask my hamster, Dennis Wise, to make the draw


To encourage him to collect a bit of paper, I put a little bit of margarine and sugar on each piece


He finally picks a team


To stop him eating the sugary-fat coated paper, and getting a horrible combination of diabetes, high-cholesterol and ink poisoning, I quickly took the scrawn-up team off him


Great choice, Dennis... I think not

I Couldn't Put It Better Myself

Following England’s defeat last night, Watkins sent me this text:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..... (breathes) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So funny. Maybe England can make it though if a German player farts tomorrow evening and if the ball turns into a goat when Bulgaria next play.

Sums it up really.

I Just Killed My Hamster

That is all...

Dennis Wise Says "Yes!"

England 0-2 Croatia – half time... useless fucking shits!

Still, all is not lost. At half time, Simon and I got my hamster, Dennis Wise, out. While hiding in his little house, we asked him if England would qualify, in somewhat of a Groundhog Day idea. Amazingly, Dennis let out a almighty, high-pitched squeak. Very strange as Wisey is normally a silent animal.

Unfortunately, I do not speak Hamstarian, so don’t know if that squeal was a “yes” or a “no”. Time will tell. Come on England.

Mickey Mouse Wears A Steve McClaren Watch

England v Croatia.
Last chance saloon.
Nothing else matters.
Come on England.

Release The Hounds

Remember back in May, I spotted a fox in the ground-floor flat garden, and managed to get a photo of it (see here). Well I noticed him again this morning.

This latest fox photo isn’t as good the one back in May, mainly due to poor light, and the fact he was hiding in the trees at the foot of the garden.

Job Done!

Phew! I finally finished that “management-course-assignment-bollocks”. I have just e-mailed it off to the tutor. No doubt there will be things that need adding and removing, but for the moment, that’s one less thing for me to do; or as I like to put it, a monkey off my shoulder.

I'm off to play Fifa - something I have resisted all day!

Finally Got Going

I’ve finally managed to get myself motivated to make a start on my management project.

Yes, it is as boring and tedious as it looks...

Newport 3-2 Bath City

It is the first time in, well... ever, that I have actually wanted my team to lose, and they didn’t disappoint tonight.

I hope Newport fans enjoy their night; finally beating Bath City (albeit a substandard City team). I also hope the fans enjoy playing 4 games in 7 days come March, after loads of their league games have to be rearranged to accommodate their pointless cup runs.

I know this all sounds very, very bitter, but I am generally pleased to be out of the Setanta Shield, and Newport are more than welcome to it.

Motivation Required

I am off work on annual leave this week. I went to be last night, planning to have a very productive Monday, and sort out a load of things I’ve been meaning to do for ages.

1. Order tickets for the Leeds game at Cheltenham next Sunday
2. Put the washing-up away which has been standing by the sink for a week
3. Finish off the assignment for my management course
4. Complete my Christmas shopping
5. Clean out Dennis Wise’s cage (the hamster, not Leeds manager)
6. Go the local shops and the bank

So far, I have only managed to achieve ‘1’ and ‘2’. I put this down to a major distraction in the form of an Xbox 360 and Fifa 2008.

Now, it’s too late to do any of the above, as I have to go to Wales at in two hours. I am going to Newport to watch Bath City in the Setanta Shield. There is no fan coach and nobody I know is driving (so I can’t get a lift). I’ve managed to blag myself a place on the team bus. Kick ass.

F*R*E*E 5O inch Pen1$!!!

Somehow all these messages found their way into my inbox this evening.


Gmail’s spam filter is obviously broken. Either that or these are genuine e-mails from scientists who have invented some kind of miracle medication, and think the best way to sell their product is by sending out mass e-mails to random people, instead of selling to a major drugs company for £500million.

The Killers - Sawdust

While browsing the net this morning, I discovered that there was a new Killers album out, entitled Sawdust. I was so excited by this news, I immediately went and downloa... err... went out to HMV and bought it.

Sawdust isn’t your typical Killers album, more of a collection of B-Sides, soundtrack titles and covers; it is still, like all Killers material, very good indeed.

Some stand out tracks include Tranquilize which features Lou Reed - the one who was on that Satellite of Love dance track a few years ago (although he probably also did some albums that old people may remember).

There is a wonderful track called Sweet Talk, which captures the Killers’ style perfectly.

Also on the album is an excellent remix of the Sam’s Town track which is on the previous album of the same name.

The best song on the album is kept to near the end - a beautiful cover of Dire Straight’s Romeo and Juliet. D.S. fans will probably see it as sacrilege, but if like me, you love The Killers and couldn’t give a toss about Mark Knopfler and his fellow Geordies, you’ll adore the track.

I was surprised that their cover of Morrissey’s Why Don’t You Find Out For Yourself wasn’t included - quiet possibly the best cover of any song ever.

Why England Will Qualify...

... because Steve McClaren was lucky enough to find this.

Unfortunately for Macca, there are no cards which enable you to win a penalty shootout in the quarter finals.

I Love Lady Luck

Lady Luck was looking down on me and my football teams this afternoon. We were lucky – very lucky!

Bath City won 4-0. Now that sounds impressive, but when you consider the opposition missed countless numbers of open goals, I am grateful for the 3 points.

Leeds beat Swindon 2-1. I wasn’t at the game, but apparently the referee was very kind to Leeds. Thank you Ms. Luck!

Lady Luck saved her best piece of work till last, when she orchestrated Israel’s win over Russia. The last minute goal from the Israelis means England, who before today looked doomed, now have a major chance of qualifying for Euro 2008.

I personally don’t think England deserve to go through, but will be very happy if they fluke their way in. I felt very sorry for the Scotland national team. They had a wonderful qualifying campaign and looked by far the best team in Britain, yet a late goal from Italy (following a dodgy referee decision) ended their chances.

I normally dislike the Scottish national team, but felt deeply saddened for them this evening. Not only was Lady Luck not helping them tonight, but she vomited from the skies onto their stadium.

I Think I See A Polar Bear!

This evening I went to the seaside town of Clevedon and watched Bath City destroy Clevedon United 7-0 in the Somerset Cup 2nd Round. The regular cameraman wasn’t there, so I volunteered my services to film the game. I stood by myself in a lonely, empty stand for 2 hours, shivering, while zooming in and out of the action, with cold, numb fingers.

Even the tape in the camera had enough of the Arctic conditions and decided to stop working during the first half. Therefore, tonight’s DVD will feature missing segments of the match. It will, however, feature a special bonus feature of Bath City midfielder, Scott Rogers and I having a chat about random, meaningless bollocks. Scotty was obviously as bored by the game as I was, and decided to come up for a few words. And no, in case you were wondering, he wasn’t supposed to be playing; although judging by Clevedon United’s performance, it wouldn’t have made much difference if our players had come off for a break.

Now time for bed, it’s too cold to be up this late.

Ollie On Tour

This evening I met the West Country and football legend, Ian Holloway. “Ollie” was signing his new autobiography at the Longwell Green branch of Asda. I arrived for the signing at 6.30pm, and it wasn’t until after 9pm, after over two and a half hours waiting, I was able to meet him.

While queuing, I was approached by an American tourist who asked who Holloway was. The ‘New York Giants’ fan was rather bemused when we explained. I think the Yank was expecting somebody as well-known as David Beckham. While Holloway may not have the worldwide popularity little David has, in this part of the country, he is a legend.

During the minute or so I spent with Ollie, he signed my book “To Sean. Come on Leeds and Bath. Best wishes, Ian Holloway ‘Ollie’”, shook my hand, had a brief discussion involving the size of the queue, before handing me a Gingsters pasty (which will be my lunch tomorrow at work).

It’s a good thing Plymouth Argyle don’t have a game this weekend, as I think he’ll be at the 24-hour supermarket signing books until the weekend.

More Random Stuff

After what seemed like a ridiculously long week at work, I welcomed the arrival of the weekend. I spent Friday night watching Leeds play Hereford United in the FA Cup, while dining upon something I don’t normally eat – a Chinese takeaway. The meal was almost as bad as the match, which finished 0-0; Hereford being by far the better side and forcing a replay – a fixture Leeds could do without.

Bath City had a free weekend, so I was a little stuck for stuff to do on Saturday. I decided to go to Twerton Park and watch Team Bath play some little northern team called Chasetown. The match was enjoyable, mainly because the students of Team Bath lost. What a shame. A glory-seeking student collared me at the game, and thinking I was a local, started slagging off the performance. I may be a local, but certainly didn’t want the tax-funded morons to win.

Saturday night I paid Simon a visit. He has recently moved into a new house, and I invited myself round to check it out. Simon lives with his parents, and it would appear they have stuck him right at the top of the house in a loft bedroom. You need to take what seems like never-ending spiral staircase to reach his lair. I was also a tad disturbed to find out his rather petite sister has been given a bedroom which is effectively a tiny cupboard under the stairs.

I was most pleased to learn our Sheppy’s cider had arrived, so on route to the Dolphin pub, we lugged the mini-barrels to my flat. I know I will enjoy these immensely at a later date. I know cider orders and trips to the local pub may make me sound like a pisshead. I can confirm to those who may be concerned that this is not the case, and this blog just makes out I spend a lot of time at The Dolpin (mainly because it’s a blog-worthy topic). Alcohol is bad mmmkay. Beer kills braincells or something something…

PC: Resurrection

My PC is still dead. I am feeling less aggrieved tonight, however. I went to PC World and bought a SATA caddy. I have now retrieved all the important data off the hard drive, which I was too stupid to not backup.

In case you were wondering, my deceased PC is more than just a computer, it is an entertainment system. I have no CDs – therefore, my music collection is stored in MP3 format on my dead PC. Also, due to having a forest at the foot of my garden, I have no TV reception – my TV shows are also stored on the hard drive of the deceased machine - I was pretty screwed when it wouldn’t turn on.

Things are looking better now. I have my music and everything else back. Off to buy a new PC soon. Proper job!

Like Losing A Limb

My PC of 3 and a half years died today. It didn’t even go out with a bang or a florescent flash. It just passed away in its sleep, like an elderly relative. I did try to revive it; but even with hammers, nails, a swearbox and prayer mat, I was unsuccessful. It is time to admit defeat, buy a new one and hope I can recover the files from my old PC’s hard drive. Sad day.

Fun With Fire

This evening I went to Bath Rugby ground to watch the annual firework display. It was rather impressive, and the only time The Rec has seen anything resembling entertainment since last year’s fireworks. My only gripe is that I thought the 25 minute display was quite short. Also, like when you go to an aeroplane display or the motor-racing, you secretly hope for an accident (or is that just me?). There weren’t any burn victims or stray rockets flying into Bath’s buildings, so no excitement this year.

After the fireworks, we went to Nandos and then off to the local pub. Simon, his Tottenham-loving friend and I had a game of pool. I was typically dire (I always am at pool), although I still insist Simon cheated by blocking the white ball, he aimlessly hit with hit, with his hand; thus preventing it from going into the net (is ‘net’ the correct term?).

A rare moment when Simon didn't feel the need to cheat

Leaving It Late (Again)

I really must blog more at weekends. This Sunday night batch-blogging session is becoming a far too frequent occurrence.

First of all the football bit. I know a lot of you don’t enjoy my football blogs, so fear not, if you skip a couple of paragraphs, you’ll reach the general bollocks.

So, from a football point of view...
Saturday was shit. Leeds lost their first game of the season. Even though last year they lost nearly every game, when they were defeated yesterday, it felt strange and rather unnerving. I suppose it is a sign of how far the club have come. Never mind, it just means the champagne will have to remain on ice for a bit longer at the end of the season.

Bath City threw away some needless points too, by holding Eastbourne to a 0-0 draw. Eastbourne are currently unbeaten at the top of the league. From what I saw yesterday, I cannot for the life of me see how. There were two problems yesterday; one being our strikeforce, or lack of it. The other the referee. The official yesterday was one of the smallest men I have ever seen; he looks like he had escaped from a circus! A City fan in the crowd put it perfectly when he bellowed “Out of all the seven dwarves, and we got Dopey!”

Other annoyances included Manchester United not losing at Arsenal.

And now the football nonsense ends...
Saturday night Simon came round. We were going to go to Nandos with Watkins, but learnt he was ill. I am not too sure what is wrong with him, but for the lad to turn down a trip to his favourite Portuguese resturant, he must have very nasty illness – AIDS, rabies or extreme dysentery, being the only possible ailments to keep him at home.

While eating our dinner (in my flat), suckling at a bottle of cider and watching South Park, Simon and I decided to buy ourselves a present - something we would be able to enjoy over the cold, winter evenings. We ordered ourselves one of these each. Upon delivery of my lovely gift, I may also invest in extra locks to my flat, to keep out alcohol-crazed alcoholics, cider-loving chavs and members of The Wurzels.

Tomorrow night I am off to The Wreck (yes, a deliberate spelling mistake) to watch a firework display. I have never been to the rugby ground before. I normally associate it with Pimms-drinking, upperclass toffs, watching a pointless egg and spoon race. The real sport of the city is football! Let’s hope a stray roman candle burns the stadium down and forces the rugger fans to Twerton Park! If you see someone running around with a Molotov cocktail, starting fires at The Rec, it’s NOT me!

A Young George Best

Thank God I am home! Today was hellish. I felt shattered, and as the day dragged on and on, my fatigue got worse and worse. As I said this morning, I wasn’t drunk last night, so refuse to put it down to a hangover; more a case of working far too hard (hahaha), or the excuse Peter Griffin (from Family Guy) once gave... “I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.”

Anyway, I’m feeling better now and am about to go out... to the pub.

"MORNING!!!"

Last night the whole of my IT department had a night out at a bar in town. Some colleagues just went out for a few mid-week drinks, while as others treated it as an excuse for a major piss-up. I was the former, and now morning has come, I’m feeling fine. I’m now looking forward to going into work and meeting those who are a little green around the gills. I think I may bring my Big Beat Elite CD and pick up a very smelly cooked breakfast on the way. Hehehe...