Permission to kill

No sooner had I recovered from my encounter with a spider last night, another comes far too close for comfort!

Sam from work thought it would be hilarious if he brought a spider in from outside to play with. For some reason, Sam isn’t scared of handling large, hairy, dangerous animals and happily let the spider run all over his hands and around his back, like a scene from that Indiana Jones film – disgusting!

The spider was THIS BIG

At this point I fled for the kitchen; barricading myself in with chairs, refusing to return until I was assured the arachnid had been sent into the depths of hell from whenst it came.

I eventually braved the office I discovered the beast had been contained in a make-shift cage. Still very wary, I insisted that it be sent outside for extermination. During the spiders exit, I nearly caused the death of another colleague by attempting to throw an answer phone at him (I forgot it had wires coming out of it, and it went nowhere).

I now need a way to seek revenge upon my colleagues and punish them. I think “death by gun” is a justified response.