A Different World

This evening I went to Twerton Park to watch the Bath City Youth take on Tiverton Youth in the FA Youth Cup. Some 120 miles away, Arsenal seniors played Slavia Prague in the UEFA Champions League.

• The “Bath Babes” lost 3-0. Arsenal won 7-0.
• The football I watched was playground stuff. Arsenal’s was sublime.
• The referee at Twerton was teaching the boys how to play; whereas the official at The Emirates was struggling to communicate with all the different nationalities.
• The lino at Twerton had a beer belly and man breasts. The linesman at The Emirates had a tan and botox treatment.
• I paid £2 to get in. Some Gooners were charged in excess of £200.
• I stood with two other City fans, pitchside in an otherwise empty stand. Arsenal fans were packed like sardines, hundreds of feet up, in their superbowl-style stadium.
• I stood shivering hoping I wouldn’t catch hyperfermia. Arsenal fans enjoyed their warm, heated seats. At least four fans now have piles.
• I forced down a bottle of Coke and a Crunchie bar. Arsenal fans dined on prawn sandwiches and caviar; all washed down with lashings-upon-lashings of Cava.