Communication Problems

Following a rather disappointing FA Cup exit for a battling Bath City, I met up Simon and Watkins for the evening. We decided to get pizza from the local takeaway, which caused rather a few problems. Simon ended up humiliating himself, while at the same time insulting an Italian man. The conversation went something like this.

Simon: “Can I order a Meat Feast pizza please?”
Italian: “Certainly, sir”
Simon: “Can you put beef on it as an extra topping?”
Italian: (rather confused) “It has beef”
Simon: “No. Can I have beef as an extra topping please!”
Italian: (now more confused) “But there is beef!”
Simon: (getting rather annoyed and speaking slowly) “Can I have some ‘B-E-E-F’ on my ‘P-I-Z-Z-A’?”
Italian: (points at the menu) “Mincemeat is beef; that is on pizza”

At that point Simon realised his mistake, paid the man and waited for his pizza; hoping the Italian he had just insulted wouldn’t violate it with his genitalia.