The Customer Is ALWAYS Right

I escaped the office this afternoon to attend some customer service course. Here are some of the things I learnt…

• DO smile at the customers - but not in a seedy way, especially at the young women.
• DO try to help customers - but NOT if your customer is trying to kill other customers.
• DON’T tell customers to “fuck off” - even if they are c***s.
• DON’T throw glasses of water onto the customers - unless they’re on fire.
• The customer is ALWAYS right – except when they’re wrong.

Some of these may not be totally true; I think I fell asleep at one point during the course, so don’t fully remember everything. Overall the afternoon was a total let down; mainly because they didn’t give out any free cake. Rule No.1 for any lecturer – if you want respect from your students, feed them cake.