Stone The Seagulls

Bath seems to be overrun with seagulls! The weather has been quite warm lately, so I have been sleeping with my bedroom windows open (my normal fear of spider invasion being overridden by the sticky-heat causing insomnia). Throughout the night, the seagulls nesting by the nearby riverside screech and scream, making the most awful noise.

I have been tempted to go down with a shotgun and take them out. On hindsight though, I don’t think that is a good idea - think about it – a man walking around in his pyjamas, brandishing a shotgun and firing into the sky.

Not only was my sleep interrupted by the bloody seagull row, but some inconsiderate youth was riding around on a Chavmobile (or “moped”), also at some ungodly hour. Is it wrong of me to wish that he crashes?