Simon The Bully

Before I start this blog, I would like to reference a discussion Simon and I had this afternoon on the content of both our sites. Apparently they contain either…

a) Simon’s side of the events (mostly lies)
b) My side of the events (the occasional stretched truth)
c) The truth (factual information)

Today’s blog contains 0% of ‘a’, 7% of ‘b’ and 93% ‘c’

I met Simon this afternoon. We ate lunch at my flat, had a drink in The Dolphin pub and played football in the local park. Simon tormented and bullied me all afternoon. Here are some examples of his abuse…

1) Stamping on my feet with his bladed football boots. A red card offence.
2) Forcing me to drink a pint of Thatcher’s cider. I begged and begged him for a J20.
3) Calling me a ‘Common farmer’. We can’t all be posh public school boys, Simon!
4) Inviting himself to my flat, post-football and thus ruining pre-planned family events.
5) Killing one of my pet fish and eating it alongside his wine and olives.

I feel so hurt and abused! :o(